Lately a number of Republican spokesmen have their knickers in a knot over Democrtats labeling  Donald Trump as a” threat to democracy”.  MAGA enthusiasts consider the phrase so incindeary, they have convinced themselves that Democrats are using it to foment assasination attemps.  Trump’s personal response is to say Kamala Harris is the real threat to democracy.  So apparently if Republicans use the phrase it’s perfectly fine.  It’s only inappropriate if Democrats use it.  Sort of like the GOP position concerning elections.  They’re legit as long as they win.  I can’t help but think this is related to the Republican aversion to the truth.  The fact is, Trump has a history of generating indisputable anti-democratic statements and actions. And not just a few.  There are so many I can see why Republicans, those that actually still maintain at least some slim grip on reality anyway, would realize the less people are reminded about any of them the better.

What follows is a list of egregiously undemocratic things Trump has done while he was president and in his post presidency.  It is a partial list, encompassing those I can recollect and have been able to research in a couple of hours- the amount of time I set as a goal for wasting  on this project.  As usual, this is a personal exercise.  I needed to compile the list for posterity.  However, for anyone who actually thinks there is anything even remotley comparable in the way of undemocratic activity between the presidential candidates of the two major political parties, this list is for you too. Spoiler alert.  I could not find anything Kamala Harris has done that would be comparable.  And I would be surpised if you could unearth anything that any past president, Republican or Democrat, has said or done that is comparable to the volume of despotic behavior on this  list.

TRUMP’S ATTACK ON DEMOCRACY

1 Instigated an insurrection
2 Asked VP to overturn election by rejecting votes
3 Tried to strip civil service protection from thousands of federal employees so they can be replaced by political employees (Trump’s schedule F)
4 Refused to commit to peaceful transfer of presidential power
5 Claimed mail in ballots “rig” an election
6 Fawningly praised authoritarian leaders of adversarial nations
7 Claimed elections might be fraudulent after, but just as consequential, months BEFORE
election
8 Suggested voters vote twice
9 Failed to disavow white supremacists  and had lunch with white supremacists
10 Attacked his own citizens (eg: Shaye Moss and Ruby Freeman)
11 Suggested political opponents be imprisoned
12 Suggested critics should be executed (Mark Milley)
13 Pressured the NOAA
14 Altered a hurricaine projection
15 Praised the assault on a reporter
16 Continuously called press the enemy of the people
17 Suggested on multiple occasions people of different races “go back where they came from”
18 Retweeted a “white power” video
19 Threatened to withhold funds for mail ballots
20 Threatened to withhold federal aid to combat wildfires happening in states with governors of  opposing political party
21 Engaged in rank hotel profiteering, likely involving violations of the Emoluments Clause
22 Claimed a president has unrestricted power to do anything, including pardoning himself
23 Objected to make tax returns public
24 Joked about an attempted murder of a political opponent’s husband
25 Called protestors adversaries
26 Shut down the goverment for over a month when congress failed to aprove funding for a pet project (border wall)
27 Insisted party leaders block legislation for his own political gain (Immigration bill)
28 Was impeached twice
29 Is a conviced felon
30 Is a convicted sex offender
31 Asked foreign government to investigate the family of a political opponent
32 Fabricated stories and generated conspiracy theories denigrating minorities for political gain
33 Canceled network TV interview after he learned there would be fact checking
34 Lied over 30,000 times while in office
35 Complicated state hurricane disaster relief efforts by telling bold faced lies about FEMA funding and response.
36 Shifted FEMA funds to ICE for immigrant transportation to hearing locations for asylum seekers

Republican complaints about labeling Trump as a threat to democracy are ludicrous. Linking the charge to any assasination attempt is absurd. Stating actual fact is hardly as provocative as all the lies, insults, and hateful rhetoric we hear from Trump on a daily basis.  He has done these things and Democrats have an obligation to remind the public of his excrable behavior.  So many people are locked into their own information silos, or are politically disinterested, it is important to point out Trump’s threats to the republic at every opportunity  in order to inform as many people as possible.

Below is an excerpt from the November issue of the Atlantic Magazine.  In it is a quote from  John Kelly, the retired Marine Corp general who served as Donald Trump’s second cheif of staff.  He spoke about George Washington’s accomplishments and what his vision of an American  president should be. The conversation took place at Mt. Vernon during a symposium about democracy.

From the article: Trump: Washington’s Nightmare

And then Kelly offered a  simple three word summary of Washington’s most important contribution to the nation he liberated. “He went home,” Kelly said.  The message was unambiguous.  After leaving the White House, Kelly had described Trump as  a “person who has no idea what America stands for and what America is all about.”   At Mount  Vernon he was making a clear point: People who are mad for power are a moral threat to democracy.  They may hold different titles- even President- but at heart they are tyrants, and all tyrants share the same trait: they never voluntarily cede power.

You know the difference between a pun and a politician?  A pun is a shift of wit. A politician is a whift of ….  Know the difference between Republicans and Democrats?  If Democrats smell shit they take steps  to remove the source.  Republicans wear nose plugs and ignore the stink.

When evidence of corruption against a Democrat becomes overwheming,  party leaders start insisting the miscreant  resign.  Even though losing congressional members would jeopardize majorities in both bodies of congress, Democratic peers are asking for Senator Bob Menendez (D New Jersey) and  Representaive Henry Cuellar (D Texas) to resign.  And now thrown in  Mayor Eric Adams (D New York City).    But Republicans of every stripe  just can’t get enough of the stench emitted by a  convicted fellon and sex offender, not to mention Trump’s Egyptian jobbery that is just as egregious as that of those three Democrats. Business as Usual . Inhale Trump fumes long enough you become desensitized to the point that offense becomes fragrance, so enrapturing  you consent to his every demand or whim. That includes over extending your credit card limit  to purchase whatever shiney object he dangles before you.  And the selection of items is extensive, so much so one wonders if there can possibly be anything else left in the  grifting market to effectively entice his patrons to part with whatever remains in their checking account. And the latest item Trump is hawking is surely to do just that- a $100,000 watch. R U kidding me?

To all the MAGA people out there I have a feeling as much as you adore Trump you’re not willing to take out a loan just to note the time of day with a $100K watch.  But you’re probably hoping there might be something else he could come up with that would be more within the parameters of your contribution comfort zone.  Well boy are you in luck!   Trump has something really special he says has necessitated earnest stockpiling, but will finally be officially released today.  Check it out.

Trump Spunk- Just click the circled X    (Courtesy of The Daily Show)

And while I have your attention, if I might have a word with anyone intending to attend a future MAGA rally.  Whenever Trump is up on stage congratulating himself for eliminating the estate tax and instituting preferential treatment for capital gains, for god’s sake don’t applaud and do the hootin’ and hollerin’ thing for that. FYI- that is red meat for the base he genuinely  cares about- millionairs and billionairs.  Actually they’re the ones Trump is playing with his $100K watch. He hopes regular rich ass kissers will be dumb enough to buy one and show it off in front of him as a way of expressing dutifull appreciation for all he has done for them, and greasing him for a future favor. ( god forbid  he is elected).  For Pete sakes you don’t have 5 million dollars that would qualify for the estate tax.  And there won’t be many at the rally except those traveling with Trump who regularly use capital gains for tax computation.  Those people are playing polo  and cruising around the Bahamas on their yachts.  If you keep applauding shit like this you are  effectivly giving him the green light to fuck you over at tax time.  (Again- god forbid he should be elected).  Less taxes for the rich, more taxes and less services for you, and more importantly, me.  Come  on man!  Pull your head out of your ass.

Chaos errupted in the Congessional Dinning Room when Represenatives Marjorie Taylor Greene and Lauren Boebert got into a argument over who former President Trump would prefer as his “chosen one.”  Women of America Clamor to be Trump’s Chosen One  While the two women were sitting together for lunch, Congresswoman Boebert apparently initiated the quarrel with a casual remark about how satisfied Mr. Trump would be should she be selected as his “chosen one.”  Representative Taylor Green then took offense, interjecting that she was certain Ms. Boebert would fall way short of Trump’s expectations  adding that because of all the hours she spent in the gym, she was confident he would find a buffed Marjorie Taylor Greene far more desirable.

Boebert, obviously agitated, retorted, saying Taylor Green should be mindful of the importance of experience and voyerism.  Noting how the former president prefered to engage romantically  in public spaces like airplanes and department stores, Boebert presented a strong rebutal, pointing out that she was the one with all the knowledge and expertise needed to professionally generate arrousal  in a crowded city theater.  After Taylor Green responded with the remark that the former president is a well documented germaphobe and would find it impossible to be intimate in any way with Boebert without her submiting to a thorough STD exam, things disintegrated into a food flinging melee involving mashed potatoes and Jello, at which point bystanders quickly interveened and escorted the two women from the premises.

In a related matter, X19, the mysoginistic organization of young men espousing  male superiority with a singular obective of repealing the 19th Amendment, reported a sudden surge in membership enrollment.  In a phone conversation, spokesperson Rod Thruster said the sudden influx of new enrollees was the result of Trump’s latest comments.  “Trump’s our guy,” Thruster said.  “The same thing happened right after the Access Holywood revelation in 2016.  This time, Trump will complete the realignment of the nation’s social order.  Men on top.  That’s our motto.  Men on top.  Of course, if we’re feelin’ tuckered out, the gals can get on top for a bit,” Thruster said with a wink.

“Weird” is very much an appropriate word to describe the Republican party- elected members, the campaign, the hypocritical commentary from pundints as well as so many in a completely uninformed public. Trump has pretty much made sure the term  will be solidly plastered into any historical description of his 2024 campaign by welcoming RFK Jr. into it, with the attached possibility of a role in his administration no less.  However the weird theme careened off into the repugnant  in a very manifest way via right wing media pundint Ann Coulter and conservative radio host Jay Weber.  Those two, along with several miscreants who unfortunatly litter social media with their flatulent garbage, mocked Tim Walz’s son Gus for becoming emotional during the DNC convention.  When she found out Gus has a neurodivergent disorder, Coulter, offering no apology, quickly deleted her comment. In the JD Vance reality you could easily identify Coulter as the poster girl for his “cat lady” theory.  Engaged several times but never married, she has no children.  That, it turns out, is something of a blessing.   Whether she was aware of Gus’s condition or not, a woman who would mock any child expressing such visceral pride in his father, especially in that emotional and historical moment, that woman is clearly not mother material.

To his credit, Weber did appologize to the Walz family.  But there are many male  media provocateurs who have no intention of appologizing for their cruel posts, which brings to mind something Vance has critically omitted from his curious “cat woman”concept.  Vance of course fails to consider there are many reasons people are adverse to bringing up a child in this economically, environmentally, and socially stressed world.  But It does take two to tango.  Nowhere in Vance’s premise does he mention the responsibility males have in it.  To Vance, it’s  un-American  women who are primarily to blame for selfish childlessness and a  plunging  birth rate.  Thus according to Vance, people with kids deserve to have more votes and be positioned as the ruling class.

All the nasty media posts concerning Gus Walz might be revealing in an obscure way.  Maybe  the reason some women shy away from having children is they are gradually realizing mysoginistic, toxic masculinity is actually a thing.   Self respecting, discriminating women might not be too interested in having  children with a bullying partner who takes pride in punching down.  Vance should give some thought to coming up with a generic term he can apply to the male accomplices in his personal “weird” hypothesis.

Real Masculinity

Since first espousing  his unconventional belief that individuals must choose one set of parental genetic material over the other and stick with it during his appearance on the National Association of Black Journalists convention,  former President Trump has endured a barrage of criticism.  Though his position is racially loaded and scientifically considered a total disregard of fundamental laws of inheritance that date back to the genetic discoveries  by Gregor Mendel in the 19th century, Trump has only doubled down on his position that no one can claim to posses the hereditary nature  of both  biological parents.   Double Doo Doo  

When asked recently to clarify his position, Trump responded “Look. One person can’t be two people.  You’re either one or the other.  People forget I had an uncle, a realy smart uncle, I mean a genius, who taught at MIT for many, many years, I believe longer than anyone, I mean a really long time.  So believe me I know more about genetics and science than…anyone.”

Unsure of how Trump’s statement clarified anything, long time Trump political advisor Stephen Miller was asked to shed light on the subject.  Miller, a major architect of Project  2025, commented, “It’s simple.  If  President Trump says something, it must be true.  We have a plan in place.  When President Trump gets reelected, his vision will become crystal clear.   Government will be streamlined with no more bureaucrats and so called scientists telling us what to do. And his ideas about race will become transformative.  Each person will be assigned a color that best suits a particular person’s selected race.  And before long, with Trump in charge, America will be united, one color, under God.  The American people deserve this.”

“Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want, and they deserve to get it good and hard”.    H.L.  Mencken

After a decades long relationship, Donald Trump has fired his chief media consultant, David Pecker.  Replacing him will be a duel team, Fox News hosts Sean Hannity and Jesse Watters. The former president’s daughter-in-law Lara Trump, who is also the Republican National Committee Co-chair as well as the party’s official surprise  vocalist, gave this brief explanation of the decision:

“It is with a heavy heart that President Trump has decided to part ways with David Pecker and his National Enquirer organization.  After so many years of reporting Trump facts, it has been recently disclosed that Mr. Pecker is no longer of sound mind.  Loyal Republicans can be assured that previous National Enquirer stories published about President Trump are true and accurate.  We are terribly sorry about Mr. Pecker’s misfortune, but obviously our family and campaign will need to recruit more capable media spokesmen.  Mr. Hannity and Mr. Watters have demonstrated  their superior bone fides regarding the presentation and dissemination  of Trump truths.   We are extremely confidnet Mr. Hannity and Mr. Watters will keep providing  those facts that we know the country wants to hear.  Thank you and God bless America.”

After her statement, and on queue, Mrs. Trump broke out an unusual rendition of   “God Bless America.”

Fresh off the retail success of his Bible sales, Donald Trump says he is extremely excited to share his limited supply of the relics of Jesus Christ with his loyal followers.  “People don’t really know this but I have a nice,  beautiful,  chunk of the Holy Cross,” Trump said during a pre-marketing  discussion with reporters.  “And the piece I have is one of the best, probably the best piece, with..well, I had a real smart guy, sharp guy, like an…apraiser of old  antiques.  He pointed out a blood stain, a pretty big blood stain, on the piece I have and so that makes it one of the best out there.  So I have carpenters, the best carpenters,  standing by to whittle off whatever someone would want.  I have, like, small, medium and large, um… slivers.  I think the small, and it’s small, like really tiny… that goes for $69.99.  You’re better off with a medium of course.  That goes for $89.99.  And the best deal is the large.  That goes for $99.99. That size will really stand out, and people will know you are a true patriot or uh… believer.  Hang it on the wall and it really looks nice.  Beautiful.”

Asked why he decided to part with such a  sacred possession, Trump said he was inspired by the Bible.  “People really like the Bible, it’s like, of all the books, it’s probably everyone’s favorite. You know the sales for my Bible were like, fantastic.  So I asked myself, what do I have people would really like, really appreciate.  And I thought, Bible, religion… Christianity.  You know we have to get back to that. People want that.  And of course there’s this thing now.  You know I hate to brag but everyone says I’m like… Jesus.  And you can understand.  All the persecution.  I’m being persecuted.  All the time.  And, and everyone knows I’m doing it for them.  For them.  Just like Jesus.  And I have this piece of the cross.  Why not share it?  People will really go for that.  They’ll look at it and be reminded how much I’ve suffered for them…and Jesus too, of course.  Me and Jesus.”

When asked how he was able to procure his section of the cross, Trump said he prefered not to discuss that.  “These things, religous things, they’re personal.  People ask me all the time, they walk up and say, ‘sir, what’s your favorite Bible passage?’  I tell them that’s too personal.  That’s between me and God,” Trump said. ” Same thing with the cross, and, and  the circumcision..  Jesus’s circumcision.  A guy came up and asked me…a big guy, strong guy…he said ‘sir’,…he knew I had Jesus’s foreskin.  Not many people know I have that, but this guy did, and he said ‘sir, how in the world did you get ahold of Jesus’s foreskin.’  Well, that’s really, I mean, super personal.  I’m not going to discuss Jesus’s…well, anybody’s… foreskin with him.  With anyone.  That’s REALLY personal.  People don’t know it, but the circumcision used to be a big thing in the church.  There was like… a holiday and everything.  It was like the 4th of July.  A really big deal. You don’t hear about it much anymore, but way back… it was really big.  And talk about personal.  I mean, come on.  Jesus’s foreskin!  To be honest I didn’t know much about it for a long time.  I read about it, maybe, or someone told me about it, I can’t remember, but just by luck I happend to get ahold of it.  Now, you know there’s not much there to work with.  I mean, come on!  It’s the kid’s schlong…not much you can divy up. But… you talk about rare!  Limited edition!  Limited.  LIM-I-TED!  So…I’ve talked to my people, good people, pastors, and church leaders, all sorts of leaders…just, only the Christian churches and leaders of course, and… they all think this is really, really valuable stuff.  I mean they say it’s like worth.. in the millions.”

The question on the minds of most of the reporters was just how would Mr. Trump “divy up” the Savior’s foreskin.  For now Mr. Trump said he could not give a precise answer.  “I have to work that out with my people, and we’ll just have to wait and see,” Mr. Trump stated. Apparently dealing with the deilcate tissue requires sensitive handling.  He did mention that whatever was decided in the way of dissemination, ultimately the ownership opportunities would be few.  To curtail some of the disappointment, Mr. Trump said since so many people consider him to be the new Messiah, he was pretty sure he could locate his own circumsized foreskin and offer it for distribution as well.  “They say that would sell like hot cakes, the hottest hotcakes. The religious…my religous followers, my favorite people.  They might really go for that. You never know how anything will go. We’ll just have to wait and see. ” So as always with Trump, we all must just wait and see.

The official investigation of the tragic collapse of the Francis Scott Key Bridge might take  awhile to complete, but you know what they say- time is money.   So in the interest of time I thought I would do everyone a favor and synopsize how the events unfolded according to a crack team of Republican influencers.   The cargo ship’s collision with the bridge was an intentional attack (Rep. Marjorie Taylor Green) probably terrorist in nature (Steve Bannon), no doubt a sabotage event conducted by undocumented immigrants (Maria Bartiromo) who were brainwahed by DEI programs (State Rep. Phil Lyman, Elon Musk ), and who selected as a target a bridge weakened by Biden’s infrastructure bill that places way too much emphasis on climate change (Rep. Nancy Mace), with all said nefariousness ultimaley conducted and coordinated by President Biden’s weaponized Department of Justice. ( Sen. Eric Schmitt).

Public Servants at Your Service

Rest assured members of  this dedicated cohort thoroughly researched this situation in their usual expeditious manner.  There is never an opportune occasion whereby they deprive the nation of their expertise. These are seasoned public informants, capable of quickly ascertaining the most minute details of any unanticipated crisis.  When a gigantic cargo ship the length of the Eiffel Tower and transporting 4,700 shipping containers with a total weight of 116,000 tons looses power and all propulsion  in the middle of the surging current of a large river, who could doubt their commanding comprehension of such a merritime calamity .

As we all know our country is about to experience one of its darkest hours.  All America anxiously awaits another carefully crafted explanation that will be offered by the ever expanding body of wisdom that resides within the ranks of the GOP.  It is they, and only they, who can provide proper warning of, and hopefully extraction from, the talons of wokeness that clutch us with paralyzing fear. We can count on them to furnish a clear understanding of how Joe Biden’s deep state is about to remove the sun from the sky and plunge the nation into total blackness on April 8th.  Prepare yourselves!

Members of the Conference of American Panpsychists concluded their annual meeting in Indianapolis today, and the primary concern that was unanimously approved and adopted into their yearly mission statement was a warning about former President Trump’s pants.  Panpsychist’s anchoring premise is a belief that consciousness is a fundamental aspect of reality, and as such resides everywhere in the universe, including inanimant material.  In a nutshell, the organization wants the general public to be aware that there is a distict possibility that Donald J. Trump’s pants might spontaneously ignite at any moment.

“In the entire history of the world we have no evidence of anyone so blatantly lying like Mr. Trump does,” said Thomas Blwynchrnykk, the group’s communication director and spokesman.  “Just during his time in office, over 30,000 of his lies  were documented.  We have no kind of record of his fabrications before that time, but we concluded it would have to be substantial.  And since his administration, our statistical department has recorded  over 4,000 of his lies.  Those are just the ones we know about, like the 2,126 times he promoted his Big Lie of a stolen election.  We estimate the total number of his falsehoods since leaving office to be in the 10,000 range, and even that seems conservative.

Mr. Blwynchmykk said no one can be certain when, or even if, Mr. Trump’s pants will combust, but he said his organization is  alarmed enough to firmly believe it has a responsiblilty to issue an alarm.  “The universe is aware of Mr. Trump’s deceits.  Consciousness is an all  pervasive ether. Everything surrounding Mr. Trump is listening- people certainly, but likewise, tables, walls, trees, rocks and yes, toilets.  We do not know the absolute number of lies it takes to push the creation mechanism over the brink, but I would imagine that cosmic power can be restrained for just so long.  What we are recommending is to maintain a minimum of 15 feet between yourself and Donald Trump’s pants.”