Monthly Archives: July 2019

President Appalled at Abysmal State of Baltimore’s Inner-City Golf Courses

President Trump made it clear today  there was no kind of racial intent behind his twitter remark that Baltimore was “a disgusting, rat and rodent infested mess.”  The president said he was merely reporting the facts.  “I’ve been there,” he said.  “You should see how those people live. I bet the only golf course in the whole district is one of those miniature ones.”  President Trump went on to point out that it was obvious Baltimore residents were sorely lacking money management and investment skills.  “My tax cuts were historic,” the president mindfully remarked. “These people in Baltimore can’t call up their broker for a decent stock tip?”

As the president spoke from the dining room of his Mar a Lago resort, patrons there were eager to validate his observations.  “Everyone here will tell you they’ve never had it so good, am I right?” the president stated.  The comment generated frenzied nodding and raucous applause.

The president has convinced Mar a Lago patron Mariam VanderThorpe that more golf resorts in the inner city would go a long way to solve the city of Baltimore’s problems.

 

 

 

 

Nation Relieved to Find Out President Trump Is Not a Racist

With what is being described as one of his finest tweets, President Trump assured the American public that he is definitely not a racist.  “This should finally put an end to the vicious attacks the fake news media  has relentlessly subjected the president to,” declared presidential spokesperson Kellyanne Conway.

The controversy came to a head when, in a previous, marginally received tweet, the leader of the free world suggested that four congresswomen, who happen to live with an amount of melanin that is confusing to him, go back to where they came from.

The president deftly tamped down the firestorm with the subsequent, highly celebrated tweet, in which he unaquivaclay stated he did not have a racist bone in his body. ” If that doesn’t clear things up I don’t know what will”, said Lindsey Graham.  “The country knows the president is a man you can take at his word.”

America is always re-assured by President Trump’s calming words and trustworthiness