Monthly Archives: March 2024

The Real, Actual, For Sure GOP Truth About a Collapsed Bridge

The official investigation of the tragic collapse of the Francis Scott Key Bridge might take  awhile to complete, but you know what they say- time is money.   So in the interest of time I thought I would do everyone a favor and synopsize how the events unfolded according to a crack team of Republican influencers.   The cargo ship’s collision with the bridge was an intentional attack (Rep. Marjorie Taylor Green) probably terrorist in nature (Steve Bannon), no doubt a sabotage event conducted by undocumented immigrants (Maria Bartiromo) who were brainwahed by DEI programs (State Rep. Phil Lyman, Elon Musk ), and who selected as a target a bridge weakened by Biden’s infrastructure bill that places way too much emphasis on climate change (Rep. Nancy Mace), with all said nefariousness ultimaley conducted and coordinated by President Biden’s weaponized Department of Justice. ( Sen. Eric Schmitt).

Public Servants at Your Service

Rest assured members of  this dedicated cohort thoroughly researched this situation in their usual expeditious manner.  There is never an opportune occasion whereby they deprive the nation of their expertise. These are seasoned public informants, capable of quickly ascertaining the most minute details of any unanticipated crisis.  When a gigantic cargo ship the length of the Eiffel Tower and transporting 4,700 shipping containers with a total weight of 116,000 tons looses power and all propulsion  in the middle of the surging current of a large river, who could doubt their commanding comprehension of such a merritime calamity .

As we all know our country is about to experience one of its darkest hours.  All America anxiously awaits another carefully crafted explanation that will be offered by the ever expanding body of wisdom that resides within the ranks of the GOP.  It is they, and only they, who can provide proper warning of, and hopefully extraction from, the talons of wokeness that clutch us with paralyzing fear. We can count on them to furnish a clear understanding of how Joe Biden’s deep state is about to remove the sun from the sky and plunge the nation into total blackness on April 8th.  Prepare yourselves!

 

 

 

Panpsychists Issue Disturbing Warning About Former President’s Pants

Members of the Conference of American Panpsychists concluded their annual meeting in Indianapolis today, and the primary concern that was unanimously approved and adopted into their yearly mission statement was a warning about former President Trump’s pants.  Panpsychist’s anchoring premise is a belief that consciousness is a fundamental aspect of reality, and as such resides everywhere in the universe, including inanimant material.  In a nutshell, the organization wants the general public to be aware that there is a distict possibility that Donald J. Trump’s pants might spontaneously ignite at any moment.

“In the entire history of the world we have no evidence of anyone so blatantly lying like Mr. Trump does,” said Thomas Blwynchrnykk, the group’s communication director and spokesman.  “Just during his time in office, over 30,000 of his lies  were documented.  We have no kind of record of his fabrications before that time, but we concluded it would have to be substantial.  And since his administration, our statistical department has recorded  over 4,000 of his lies.  Those are just the ones we know about, like the 2,126 times he promoted his Big Lie of a stolen election.  We estimate the total number of his falsehoods since leaving office to be in the 10,000 range, and even that seems conservative.

Mr. Blwynchmykk said no one can be certain when, or even if, Mr. Trump’s pants will combust, but he said his organization is  alarmed enough to firmly believe it has a responsiblilty to issue an alarm.  “The universe is aware of Mr. Trump’s deceits.  Consciousness is an all  pervasive ether. Everything surrounding Mr. Trump is listening- people certainly, but likewise, tables, walls, trees, rocks and yes, toilets.  We do not know the absolute number of lies it takes to push the creation mechanism over the brink, but I would imagine that cosmic power can be restrained for just so long.  What we are recommending is to maintain a minimum of 15 feet between yourself and Donald Trump’s pants.”

 

 

 

The Constitutional Fix That Isn’t

God knows they tried.  Members of  the U.S. Congress in 1866 (the 39th, if you’re interested) saw to it that the 14th amendment was passed and ratified.  One of three Reconstruction Amendments, it has within it a section, section 3, called the Disqualificaion Clause, that deals with insurrectionists.  After the Civil War, of course that is something that needed to be addressed.

As with all constitutional amendments, I am sure  its prescribers felt they did their best to provide for furture implementation.  Unfortunately, the 39th Congress did not include in the wording of the Disqualification Clause any procedure for determining who is subject to disqualification.  And so the current Supreme Court found itself dealing with its third case involving a former president of the United States in Trump vs Anderson.  That is the case which the Colorado Supreme Court ruled Trump should be disqualified from state ballots because   of his invoment in the January 6th attack on the Capitol Building.

Long story as short as I understand it, SCOTUS decided to avoid the nasty political entanglement of labeling Trump an insurrectionist.   They did reverse the Colorado Supreme Court, but not on grounds of insurrection.  They took the easy way out,  simply used a federalist apporoach and ruled no state can determine the eligibility of candidates for a federal election.

OK.  Understandable.  Kind of spineless, but as Justice Barrett stated, “The Court has settled a politically charged issue in the volitle season of a presidential election…the Court should turn the national temperature down, not up.”  That’s thoughtful, but in the end did not address the primary issue.  In fact, their decision made the clause almost moot, by fiat. SCOTUS ruled that any case involving an insurrection must be enforced through legislation enacted by congress.  In other words, the Court passed the buck back to congress.

Good luck with that.  Republicans will never disqualify thier presidential candidate on insurrectionist grounds. They already proved that by not convicting Trump when he was impeached for just that.  How about Democrats.?  Hopefully that party will never be bllindsided by a presidential candidate who turns out to be a conniving, egomaniacal sexual preditor hellbent on grabbing power at any cost, but should it happen who knows.  So neither the Supreme Court, nor congress, will shoulder the responsibilty of determining when an act committed by a presidential candidate is insurrection.  Not now, probabaly not ever, if we continue to be locked into the belief of party infallibility.  I honestly think that 39th Congress would be embarrased by our current Supreme Court.  What they did is maybe politically prudent, but constitutionally negligent.

What happened on January 6th 2021, was an insurrection, and Trump incited it.  We all witnessed it with our own eyes.  If Trump should loose his 2024 presidential bid, there is a very good chance there will be more MAGA rampage.  That is the very stark reality of our political/cultural environment today, where a deranged narcissist has the perplexing capability  to cajole misguided members of his cultish following into believing his lies to the point of inflicting personal injury.  Trump has conducted a relentless attack on our laws and institutions, and exposed  ambiguity in our constitution.  Sadly, the Supreme Court missed an opportunity to clarify one of those constitutional defects.  It seems to me there should be urgency to repair any flaws in our democratic process that Trump has revealed.  November is not that far away.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Our Rube Goldberg Supreme Court

This is nuts.  How can a group of nine supposedly super intelligent people make such a  simple issue so complicated?  The case before the court: Does the  President of the United States have absolute immunity while in office. That’s it.  All there is to it.  The case is sitting there to be considered at its extreme.  If a president commits murder, robbery, espionage, rape, any capital crime*, he should be prosecuted as any ordinary citizen would be.  The basic constitutional provision for the presidency is that that person” take care that laws are faithfull executed.”  It doesn’t take a law degree to understand that in a democracy the person in charge of supervising the law should be expected to abide by those same laws.  Jesus Christ can something be more black or white?  Well somehow SCOTUS has to muck it all up in neon colors.  Yes the president should have some immunity  from prosecution for actions performed while exercising normal duties of the office.  But that’s not the issue here.  It clearly states “absolute” immunity.

This petition by Trump’s defense team has been lingering since December 1 of last year.  The entire nation awaits a decision, and this Supreme Court you would hope is smart enough to understand  its time-sensitive importance.  But as it stands now, nothing will be done until late April.  Delaying a decision till then would likely mean any federal trail would never be completed before the November presidential election.

What the f*** is going on over there?  Are those supreme black robes all in the bag for Trump, complicit in his ongoing judicial delay tactics?  Is it all just vainglorious Supreme Court hubris?  Maybe it’s all too much for them.  After all, the country has never been subjected to a president with such mind boggling  disregard for what are considered normal constraints of the office.  Who knows what upcoming conflagration they will have to extinguish.

But come on!  It’s SCOTUS’s job to expeditiously address judicial matters in order of importance.  Other high courts have made relatively rapid decisions concerning presidential matters.  The Nixon tape case, Bush/Gore case.  In fact this court has a well documented history of  using a shadow docket to make consequential, divisive decisions about Covid vacine, gun rights, and immigration. More to the point, their decision to allow Trump on Colorado’s state ballot was a fairly quick decision.  It is clear they understood they should act before Colorado voters were slated to cast ballots. These are supposedly very smart people.  This issue should not take a lengthy deliberation, and a decision is imperative before people vote in November. The country’s opinion of this group is already lower than whale shit.  Please suprise us with some expedited decisions and maybe start  resurecting your reputation from the unplungable depths.

*In some circles you might hear the argument Trump should already be disqualified on grounds of criminal conviction- rape, and robbery.