As the president spoke from the dining room of his Mar a Lago resort, patrons there were eager to validate his observations. “Everyone here will tell you they’ve never had it so good, am I right?” the president stated. The comment generated frenzied nodding and raucous applause.
The president has convinced Mar a Lago patron Mariam VanderThorpe that more golf resorts in the inner city would go a long way to solve the city of Baltimore’s problems.
The controversy came to a head when, in a previous, marginally received tweet, the leader of the free world suggested that four congresswomen, who happen to live with an amount of melanin that is confusing to him, go back to where they came from.
The president deftly tamped down the firestorm with the subsequent, highly celebrated tweet, in which he unaquivaclay stated he did not have a racist bone in his body. ” If that doesn’t clear things up I don’t know what will”, said Lindsey Graham. “The country knows the president is a man you can take at his word.”
America is always re-assured by President Trump’s calming words and trustworthiness
So set aside your sparklers and bottle rockets everyone. Its time for pitchforks and torches, as frequent MAGA rally attendee and former sheriff David Clarke is fond of saying. This will be a different kind of 4th of July. But then, presently this is a different kind of America.
Politicizing Independence Day did not work out so well the one other time it was tried. Crowd enthusiasm for President Nixon’s 4th of July “Honor America Day” in 1970, was inconveniently dampened by irritating clouds of of police tear gas. History does have a way of repeating itself.
The President Xi comment was an obvious reference to the fact that President Trump is not afraid to get personal with tariffs. After President Xi and Russian President Putin deliberately snubbed Trump by excluding him from their autocratic power circle recently, the President of the United States made it clear that President Xi would really be sorry if he doesn’t sit down with him soon and reestablish their besties relationship. Not only will he likely tag the Chinese president with a biting nick name, but he adamantly stated he would slap him in the face with some tariffs.
President Xi Gifts President Putin a Best Friends Necklace
It is rumored the president is now so enamored with tariffs he won’t hesitate to utilize them at will to discourage perceived mistreatment of any kind. The word is next on his list are Nervous Nancy and the 15th hole on the Mar a Lago golf course.
mentioned ever since the president felt jilted by China’s president Xi
with Trump anything was possible.
and it was his impression that recently just mentioning the word tariff made the president feel good about himself.
next n pelosi and the 15 hole
Informed that President Trump would be filling his time playing golf now that he has temporarily postponed his participation in all governing responsibility, Washington legislators quickly responded by initiating a special session of congress in order to fund personal presidential expenses. Expenses forTrump’s golfing excursions presently exceed 100 million dollars, and Senate Finance Committee Chairman Chuck Grassley is confident the taxpayers are more than willing to provide an addition two hundred million in order to make America great again.
Asked how long the president might be lingering on the links, Senator Lindsey Graham said as long as it takes for the president to recover from Speaker Nancy Pelosi’s hurtful comments. The senator also mentioned that a lengthily tour of all his golf courses and a review of the fortune he has amassed that somehow escapes emoluments violations will be just the ticket to reset his governing attention.
Reporters rushed to Speaker Pelosi to hear what she had to say about the the unexpected budgetary developments. “I will be praying that the president can find the resolve and courage to quit cheating on the golf course,” was her only comment. And with it, is it is expected the president will be playing golf at least till the end of the year.
In contrast to the Democratic senators who one after another became confused by Barr’s baffling explanations, Republican senators were able to communicate with the attorney general with relative ease. By choosing topics of discussion that had nothing to do with the Mueller report, like anything involving President Obama or Hillary Clinton, the Republicans consistently forged a common dialog with Barr.
“Democrats just don’t get it,” said one Republican senator after the hearings. “If you want to understand a man like the attorney general, you have to talk about something he likes to talk about. You can’t go wrong if you bring up Hillary. They need to start thinking outside the box!.” The senator suggested the Democrats would be better served in the future if they ask the AG about his favorite restaurants or possibly persuade him to give a critique of a movie he recently enjoyed.
While engaged in non-answering senatorial questions, AG Barr was given to conducting lessons in sentence syntax arrangement and, as seen here, enumerating possibilities of synonyms for a particular word like “suggest”
he called “tight-assed m*****f*****s,” a term his wife later explained was Mr. Gliterman’s way of describing traditional Washington bureaucrats.
Pollsters reported there is one other finding that stood out. Many people seem conflicted about the revelation that President Trump could not supply an answer to 37 of the written interview questions that he was asked to submit to Mueller investigators. “I’m a little concerned,” said poll participant Margie Netherbottom. “That’s not like him. Everyone knows what a great memory he has. He mentions that at almost every rally. And the best brain. He has a dynamite brain. He’s out there commenting about his fantastic brain all the time. I certainly hope he’s all right.”
Others, like Paul Wintermunster, had a different point of view. “Don’t let all the preposterously unbelievable number of unanswered questions fool you. That all just shows what a genius the man is. He’s the deal maker. He sets the rules. I mean It’s not like he was under oath. And even if he was, who cares?”
President Trump responded to the negative polling fallout later in the day. It read, “Who knew obstruction pf justice could be so hard.”
Since the only remaining sources of the highly contagious virus are tightly secured at the CDC in Atlanta and the VECTOR lab in Novosibirsk Russia, the veracity of the project as well as the credibility of the source of the report were vigorously questioned. When it was disclosed that the person hatching the plan was none other than presidential senior advisor Stephen Miller, all doubts were cast aside.
President Trump is confident Stephen Miller (pictured) has what it takes to get the job done.
A press pool reporter quickly seized upon that comment. Aware of reports of mothers across the land who felt compelled to wash their offspring’s ears out with soap after hearing the president and his eldest son rip off several lines of profanity during a recent campaign rally, he asked Ms Conway if that would be something the public should expect from the Trump family going forward. She replied that was just locker-room talk and is done only when the president is on national TV and there are no lockers around.
In a related matter, Representatives Devin Nunes and Michael Conaway are said to be meeting with AG Barr later this afternoon. Since the attorney general’s second explanation of the Mueller Report left the two congressmen a bit confused about what was actually elucidated in the first, they are hopeful AG Barr can conjure up another edition of the Barr report about the Barr report of the Mueller report that will explain to the country why they should not feel obligated to ask Representative Adam Schiff to unresign his chairmanship of the House Intelligence Committee. GOP Demands Schiff’s Resignation
People Want to Know what the Heck is Going on Here
The president suggested the remains of the enshrined soldier should be exhumed and have his DNA analyzed. “We have all this great technology now,” the president stated. ” At least find out who this guy is. We need a name. I mean how stupid is it to guard something 24 hours a day that’s unknown. Unknown! Get some testing done and then we’ll see what happens. Maybe he was a real hero. If we find out he never got captured, then maybe we put on a real show for him. With fireworks. And a parade- down Pennsylvania Avenue!”
The president is confident the Unknown Soldier would send a grateful note of appreciation to the White House should he one day qualify for a Trump celebratory parade.