For the past few days the leadership of the Democratic Party has been conferencing in New York City and pouring over exit polling data to try and determine how their 2024 election campaign went so shit sideways and what improvements need to be made.  Congressman Pete Flickermuster said discussion was heated but  constructive.  “It’s pretty obvious we didn’t know what the fuck we were doing.   I mean, how do you lose to a 78 year old racist, misogynistic sex offender who incited a deadly, violent insurrection aimed at overturning a democratic election, was convicted of mass fraud and openly espouses tyrannical governmental  rule?  Jesus Christ, it’s embarrasing.”

The conference has unanimously agreed there needs to be a radical party reconstruct, and the majority of debate centered around the mind-bending magnatism of the president-elect.  “It’s difficult,” Flickermuster said, “because practically everything he does is outside of  political and social norms.  Apparently that’s what America wants, so we have concluded we need to develop a more populist agenda that is  focused on some of the specific things that seemed to work for Trump.”

One major regret elicited by the conference was the party’s failure to attract the “bro vote.”  Young adult males migrated significantly to the Republican Party.  Upon analyzing post election data the conference discovered a staggering reveal- whenever Trump performed  fantasy fellatio upon an unsuspecting podium microphone at one of his rallies,  the next day there was a dramatic surge in Republican registration by young adult males.  “It was uncanny, and we simply can not afford to ignore that,” Flickermuster said.  “We have not decided how far to go with this information.  Obviously promising universal blow jobs is something that wont appeal to everyone.  But there is no denying that is a compelling political attraction  to the young male voter.”

Flickermuster said getting everyone on board with the fellatio concept hasn’t been easy, and it’s been especially difficult to find potential candidates who are willing to incorporate it into their campaign repertoire.  “We had a couple guys willing to access professional athlete’s lockerooms so they could take a shot at that novel Trump contrivance of authentically discussing the size of a celebrity’s dick in front of a public gathering of thousands of people, but none thought they were confident enough to emulate Trumps blow job technique.”

Flickermuster said he was confident that in time the right person would emerge who could carry the Democratic fellatio flag.  He said the party is also interested in expanding the purient interest theme by running a party personnel search for a past sex offender, or even a convicted murderer, who might qualify as presidential material under the new office qualifications established by the Republicans.  “Americans have chosen a different pathway for democracy,” Flickermuster said.  “And they deserve to get it, good and hard.”

introspection

I keep seeing articles asserting that Donald Trump is sort of like, loosing his mind. At first, say a month ago, I thought all that reporting was political bias.  I thought it was over reaction, and honestly felt this is all just Trump being Trump.  That’s how it’s always been.  Fox News would sane-wash his latest gaff, and people would eventually forget about whatever it was and prepare for the next crazy thing he would say.  But over the past two or three weeks I have to say I beleive I am seeing a different Trump.

The change in a way is subtle.  His racism for one thing is something he has always leaned into.  In fact, that and tarrifs are about all he’s been offering in the way of his futuristic vision of the country.  But lately his description of the nation’s present and future has become increasingly dark.  If it’s an interview or a rally, he spends the majority of his time denigrating minorities and migrants with xenophobic and racist remarks.  They are all pretty much “animals” and “stone cold killers” and “the worst people”.   No more “assuming some are good people” I guess.  And he has recently punched up the entertainment value of his speach with graphic verbal descriptions, insisting for instance that migrants will “cut your throat,” or spending what seems to me to be an inordinate amount of time explaining to a crowd how he visualizes a “vicious migrant” dragging a woman off into the woods and raping her.  Kind of creepy for a convicted sex ofender.

Very recently Trump started championing the belief that migrants and minorities are genetically disposed to commit crimes.  New Twist to the Theories of Gregor Mandel

By now most of the country is aware of the “Haitians eating pets” conspiracy promoted by Trump- one of his many lies that resulted in terroristic threats and worse  against his fellow citizens. But recently he has widened his horizons concerning ethnicities of people he has in his deportation cross-hairs.  Immigrants from Africa, the Middle East and Asia were “destroying the fabric of life in our country,” he said during a recent rally in New York. “We are not going to take it any longer and you’ve got to get rid of these people.”

Whoops.  Turns out there are some white people he might want to dispose of also. He suggested ‘Using the military to go after “the enemy from within” in an interview with Fox News that aired this past Sunday, pointing to those  who oppose or have investigated him.’  CBS News

Kind of  disturbing to say the least.  What is getting more and more alarming is the incoherent gibberish.  If he’s not slandering an entire culture it’s because a unique subliminal switch in his brain somehow sidetracks his thought process into a pathway  that causes  him to utter an incomprehensible, twisted Gordian knot of words.  Now just maybe Trump himself is starting to understand there are limits to what the public will put up with regading the mental decline of a potential leader of the country.  Ask Joe Biden.  Case in point, this Monday he stunned the attendees of his town hall by abrupty insisting on an end to the Q and A session.  He told the crowd he was certain they were tired of all the talk and knew in their hearts they would much rather watch him listen to 40 minutes of music. Music Man

Was Trump all tuckered out, his brain too taxed to carry on answering  questions from at least a few inquisitive members of his audience?  Trump  undoubtedly feels more comfortable being the entertainer.  If that was a typical MAGA rally throng,  watching Trump gently sway and conduct an imaginary orchestra for 40 minutes to the tune of Ave Maria,  most would feel swindled out of 40 minutes of searing racial slurring and apocalyptic innuendo.  In no way was this normal, even, and especially, for Trump.

What hapened the very next day is even more baffling, and offers an explanation of why things went sideways the day before at the music festival.   Trump was subjected to a very contentious  interview by Bloomberg’s Editor-in-Chief John Micklethwait and it quickly became  apparent how uncomfortable the former president is in a Q and A format, at least one conducted by a professional interviewer with no connection to Fox News.  Entangled in the “Weave”

The artful dodger deployed his infamous “weave,” but it’s always a big tip off that he senses it’s not working when he resorts to attacking the interviewer.  Maybe the lesson Trump learned from these two events was instead of putting himself through all the excruciating contortions of his “weave,” a more straightforward and effective method of covering up  incompentence or disguising mental decline is to simply instruct the stage crew to fire up a rousing rendition of Ave Maria.

Lately a number of Republican spokesmen have their knickers in a knot over Democrtats labeling  Donald Trump as a” threat to democracy”.  MAGA enthusiasts consider the phrase so incindeary, they have convinced themselves that Democrats are using it to foment assasination attemps.  Trump’s personal response is to say Kamala Harris is the real threat to democracy.  So apparently if Republicans use the phrase it’s perfectly fine.  It’s only inappropriate if Democrats use it.  Sort of like the GOP position concerning elections.  They’re legit as long as they win.  I can’t help but think this is related to the Republican aversion to the truth.  The fact is, Trump has a history of generating indisputable anti-democratic statements and actions. And not just a few.  There are so many I can see why Republicans, those that actually still maintain at least some slim grip on reality anyway, would realize the less people are reminded about any of them the better.

What follows is a list of egregiously undemocratic things Trump has done while he was president and in his post presidency.  It is a partial list, encompassing those I can recollect and have been able to research in a couple of hours- the amount of time I set as a goal for wasting  on this project.  As usual, this is a personal exercise.  I needed to compile the list for posterity.  However, for anyone who actually thinks there is anything even remotley comparable in the way of undemocratic activity between the presidential candidates of the two major political parties, this list is for you too. Spoiler alert.  I could not find anything Kamala Harris has done that would be comparable.  And I would be surpised if you could unearth anything that any past president, Republican or Democrat, has said or done that is comparable to the volume of despotic behavior on this  list.

TRUMP’S ATTACK ON DEMOCRACY

1 Instigated an insurrection
2 Asked VP to overturn election by rejecting votes
3 Tried to strip civil service protection from thousands of federal employees so they can be replaced by political employees (Trump’s schedule F)
4 Refused to commit to peaceful transfer of presidential power
5 Claimed mail in ballots “rig” an election
6 Fawningly praised authoritarian leaders of adversarial nations
7 Claimed elections might be fraudulent after, but just as consequential, months BEFORE
election
8 Suggested voters vote twice
9 Failed to disavow white supremacists  and had lunch with white supremacists
10 Attacked his own citizens (eg: Shaye Moss and Ruby Freeman)
11 Suggested political opponents be imprisoned
12 Suggested critics should be executed (Mark Milley)
13 Pressured the NOAA
14 Altered a hurricaine projection
15 Praised the assault on a reporter
16 Continuously called press the enemy of the people
17 Suggested on multiple occasions people of different races “go back where they came from”
18 Retweeted a “white power” video
19 Threatened to withhold funds for mail ballots
20 Threatened to withhold federal aid to combat wildfires happening in states with governors of  opposing political party
21 Engaged in rank hotel profiteering, likely involving violations of the Emoluments Clause
22 Claimed a president has unrestricted power to do anything, including pardoning himself
23 Objected to make tax returns public
24 Joked about an attempted murder of a political opponent’s husband
25 Called protestors adversaries
26 Shut down the goverment for over a month when congress failed to aprove funding for a pet project (border wall)
27 Insisted party leaders block legislation for his own political gain (Immigration bill)
28 Was impeached twice
29 Is a conviced felon
30 Is a convicted sex offender
31 Asked foreign government to investigate the family of a political opponent
32 Fabricated stories and generated conspiracy theories denigrating minorities for political gain
33 Canceled network TV interview after he learned there would be fact checking
34 Lied over 30,000 times while in office
35 Complicated state hurricane disaster relief efforts by telling bold faced lies about FEMA funding and response.
36 Shifted FEMA funds to ICE for immigrant transportation to hearing locations for asylum seekers

Republican complaints about labeling Trump as a threat to democracy are ludicrous. Linking the charge to any assasination attempt is absurd. Stating actual fact is hardly as provocative as all the lies, insults, and hateful rhetoric we hear from Trump on a daily basis.  He has done these things and Democrats have an obligation to remind the public of his excrable behavior.  So many people are locked into their own information silos, or are politically disinterested, it is important to point out Trump’s threats to the republic at every opportunity  in order to inform as many people as possible.

Below is an excerpt from the November issue of the Atlantic Magazine.  In it is a quote from  John Kelly, the retired Marine Corp general who served as Donald Trump’s second cheif of staff.  He spoke about George Washington’s accomplishments and what his vision of an American  president should be. The conversation took place at Mt. Vernon during a symposium about democracy.

From the article: Trump: Washington’s Nightmare

And then Kelly offered a  simple three word summary of Washington’s most important contribution to the nation he liberated. “He went home,” Kelly said.  The message was unambiguous.  After leaving the White House, Kelly had described Trump as  a “person who has no idea what America stands for and what America is all about.”   At Mount  Vernon he was making a clear point: People who are mad for power are a moral threat to democracy.  They may hold different titles- even President- but at heart they are tyrants, and all tyrants share the same trait: they never voluntarily cede power.

You know the difference between a pun and a politician?  A pun is a shift of wit. A politician is a whift of ….  Know the difference between Republicans and Democrats?  If Democrats smell shit they take steps  to remove the source.  Republicans wear nose plugs and ignore the stink.

When evidence of corruption against a Democrat becomes overwheming,  party leaders start insisting the miscreant  resign.  Even though losing congressional members would jeopardize majorities in both bodies of congress, Democratic peers are asking for Senator Bob Menendez (D New Jersey) and  Representaive Henry Cuellar (D Texas) to resign.  And now thrown in  Mayor Eric Adams (D New York City).    But Republicans of every stripe  just can’t get enough of the stench emitted by a  convicted fellon and sex offender, not to mention Trump’s Egyptian jobbery that is just as egregious as that of those three Democrats. Business as Usual . Inhale Trump fumes long enough you become desensitized to the point that offense becomes fragrance, so enrapturing  you consent to his every demand or whim. That includes over extending your credit card limit  to purchase whatever shiney object he dangles before you.  And the selection of items is extensive, so much so one wonders if there can possibly be anything else left in the  grifting market to effectively entice his patrons to part with whatever remains in their checking account. And the latest item Trump is hawking is surely to do just that- a $100,000 watch. R U kidding me?

To all the MAGA people out there I have a feeling as much as you adore Trump you’re not willing to take out a loan just to note the time of day with a $100K watch.  But you’re probably hoping there might be something else he could come up with that would be more within the parameters of your contribution comfort zone.  Well boy are you in luck!   Trump has something really special he says has necessitated earnest stockpiling, but will finally be officially released today.  Check it out.

Trump Spunk- Just click the circled X    (Courtesy of The Daily Show)

And while I have your attention, if I might have a word with anyone intending to attend a future MAGA rally.  Whenever Trump is up on stage congratulating himself for eliminating the estate tax and instituting preferential treatment for capital gains, for god’s sake don’t applaud and do the hootin’ and hollerin’ thing for that. FYI- that is red meat for the base he genuinely  cares about- millionairs and billionairs.  Actually they’re the ones Trump is playing with his $100K watch. He hopes regular rich ass kissers will be dumb enough to buy one and show it off in front of him as a way of expressing dutifull appreciation for all he has done for them, and greasing him for a future favor. ( god forbid  he is elected).  For Pete sakes you don’t have 5 million dollars that would qualify for the estate tax.  And there won’t be many at the rally except those traveling with Trump who regularly use capital gains for tax computation.  Those people are playing polo  and cruising around the Bahamas on their yachts.  If you keep applauding shit like this you are  effectivly giving him the green light to fuck you over at tax time.  (Again- god forbid he should be elected).  Less taxes for the rich, more taxes and less services for you, and more importantly, me.  Come  on man!  Pull your head out of your ass.

Chaos errupted in the Congessional Dinning Room when Represenatives Marjorie Taylor Greene and Lauren Boebert got into a argument over who former President Trump would prefer as his “chosen one.”  Women of America Clamor to be Trump’s Chosen One  While the two women were sitting together for lunch, Congresswoman Boebert apparently initiated the quarrel with a casual remark about how satisfied Mr. Trump would be should she be selected as his “chosen one.”  Representative Taylor Green then took offense, interjecting that she was certain Ms. Boebert would fall way short of Trump’s expectations  adding that because of all the hours she spent in the gym, she was confident he would find a buffed Marjorie Taylor Greene far more desirable.

Boebert, obviously agitated, retorted, saying Taylor Green should be mindful of the importance of experience and voyerism.  Noting how the former president prefered to engage romantically  in public spaces like airplanes and department stores, Boebert presented a strong rebutal, pointing out that she was the one with all the knowledge and expertise needed to professionally generate arrousal  in a crowded city theater.  After Taylor Green responded with the remark that the former president is a well documented germaphobe and would find it impossible to be intimate in any way with Boebert without her submiting to a thorough STD exam, things disintegrated into a food flinging melee involving mashed potatoes and Jello, at which point bystanders quickly interveened and escorted the two women from the premises.

In a related matter, X19, the mysoginistic organization of young men espousing  male superiority with a singular obective of repealing the 19th Amendment, reported a sudden surge in membership enrollment.  In a phone conversation, spokesperson Rod Thruster said the sudden influx of new enrollees was the result of Trump’s latest comments.  “Trump’s our guy,” Thruster said.  “The same thing happened right after the Access Holywood revelation in 2016.  This time, Trump will complete the realignment of the nation’s social order.  Men on top.  That’s our motto.  Men on top.  Of course, if we’re feelin’ tuckered out, the gals can get on top for a bit,” Thruster said with a wink.

“Weird” is very much an appropriate word to describe the Republican party- elected members, the campaign, the hypocritical commentary from pundints as well as so many in a completely uninformed public. Trump has pretty much made sure the term  will be solidly plastered into any historical description of his 2024 campaign by welcoming RFK Jr. into it, with the attached possibility of a role in his administration no less.  However the weird theme careened off into the repugnant  in a very manifest way via right wing media pundint Ann Coulter and conservative radio host Jay Weber.  Those two, along with several miscreants who unfortunatly litter social media with their flatulent garbage, mocked Tim Walz’s son Gus for becoming emotional during the DNC convention.  When she found out Gus has a neurodivergent disorder, Coulter, offering no apology, quickly deleted her comment. In the JD Vance reality you could easily identify Coulter as the poster girl for his “cat lady” theory.  Engaged several times but never married, she has no children.  That, it turns out, is something of a blessing.   Whether she was aware of Gus’s condition or not, a woman who would mock any child expressing such visceral pride in his father, especially in that emotional and historical moment, that woman is clearly not mother material.

To his credit, Weber did appologize to the Walz family.  But there are many male  media provocateurs who have no intention of appologizing for their cruel posts, which brings to mind something Vance has critically omitted from his curious “cat woman”concept.  Vance of course fails to consider there are many reasons people are adverse to bringing up a child in this economically, environmentally, and socially stressed world.  But It does take two to tango.  Nowhere in Vance’s premise does he mention the responsibility males have in it.  To Vance, it’s  un-American  women who are primarily to blame for selfish childlessness and a  plunging  birth rate.  Thus according to Vance, people with kids deserve to have more votes and be positioned as the ruling class.

All the nasty media posts concerning Gus Walz might be revealing in an obscure way.  Maybe  the reason some women shy away from having children is they are gradually realizing mysoginistic, toxic masculinity is actually a thing.   Self respecting, discriminating women might not be too interested in having  children with a bullying partner who takes pride in punching down.  Vance should give some thought to coming up with a generic term he can apply to the male accomplices in his personal “weird” hypothesis.

Real Masculinity

Since first espousing  his unconventional belief that individuals must choose one set of parental genetic material over the other and stick with it during his appearance on the National Association of Black Journalists convention,  former President Trump has endured a barrage of criticism.  Though his position is racially loaded and scientifically considered a total disregard of fundamental laws of inheritance that date back to the genetic discoveries  by Gregor Mendel in the 19th century, Trump has only doubled down on his position that no one can claim to posses the hereditary nature  of both  biological parents.   Double Doo Doo  

When asked recently to clarify his position, Trump responded “Look. One person can’t be two people.  You’re either one or the other.  People forget I had an uncle, a realy smart uncle, I mean a genius, who taught at MIT for many, many years, I believe longer than anyone, I mean a really long time.  So believe me I know more about genetics and science than…anyone.”

Unsure of how Trump’s statement clarified anything, long time Trump political advisor Stephen Miller was asked to shed light on the subject.  Miller, a major architect of Project  2025, commented, “It’s simple.  If  President Trump says something, it must be true.  We have a plan in place.  When President Trump gets reelected, his vision will become crystal clear.   Government will be streamlined with no more bureaucrats and so called scientists telling us what to do. And his ideas about race will become transformative.  Each person will be assigned a color that best suits a particular person’s selected race.  And before long, with Trump in charge, America will be united, one color, under God.  The American people deserve this.”

“Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want, and they deserve to get it good and hard”.    H.L.  Mencken

After a decades long relationship, Donald Trump has fired his chief media consultant, David Pecker.  Replacing him will be a duel team, Fox News hosts Sean Hannity and Jesse Watters. The former president’s daughter-in-law Lara Trump, who is also the Republican National Committee Co-chair as well as the party’s official surprise  vocalist, gave this brief explanation of the decision:

“It is with a heavy heart that President Trump has decided to part ways with David Pecker and his National Enquirer organization.  After so many years of reporting Trump facts, it has been recently disclosed that Mr. Pecker is no longer of sound mind.  Loyal Republicans can be assured that previous National Enquirer stories published about President Trump are true and accurate.  We are terribly sorry about Mr. Pecker’s misfortune, but obviously our family and campaign will need to recruit more capable media spokesmen.  Mr. Hannity and Mr. Watters have demonstrated  their superior bone fides regarding the presentation and dissemination  of Trump truths.   We are extremely confidnet Mr. Hannity and Mr. Watters will keep providing  those facts that we know the country wants to hear.  Thank you and God bless America.”

After her statement, and on queue, Mrs. Trump broke out an unusual rendition of   “God Bless America.”

Fresh off the retail success of his Bible sales, Donald Trump says he is extremely excited to share his limited supply of the relics of Jesus Christ with his loyal followers.  “People don’t really know this but I have a nice,  beautiful,  chunk of the Holy Cross,” Trump said during a pre-marketing  discussion with reporters.  “And the piece I have is one of the best, probably the best piece, with..well, I had a real smart guy, sharp guy, like an…apraiser of old  antiques.  He pointed out a blood stain, a pretty big blood stain, on the piece I have and so that makes it one of the best out there.  So I have carpenters, the best carpenters,  standing by to whittle off whatever someone would want.  I have, like, small, medium and large, um… slivers.  I think the small, and it’s small, like really tiny… that goes for $69.99.  You’re better off with a medium of course.  That goes for $89.99.  And the best deal is the large.  That goes for $99.99. That size will really stand out, and people will know you are a true patriot or uh… believer.  Hang it on the wall and it really looks nice.  Beautiful.”

Asked why he decided to part with such a  sacred possession, Trump said he was inspired by the Bible.  “People really like the Bible, it’s like, of all the books, it’s probably everyone’s favorite. You know the sales for my Bible were like, fantastic.  So I asked myself, what do I have people would really like, really appreciate.  And I thought, Bible, religion… Christianity.  You know we have to get back to that. People want that.  And of course there’s this thing now.  You know I hate to brag but everyone says I’m like… Jesus.  And you can understand.  All the persecution.  I’m being persecuted.  All the time.  And, and everyone knows I’m doing it for them.  For them.  Just like Jesus.  And I have this piece of the cross.  Why not share it?  People will really go for that.  They’ll look at it and be reminded how much I’ve suffered for them…and Jesus too, of course.  Me and Jesus.”

When asked how he was able to procure his section of the cross, Trump said he prefered not to discuss that.  “These things, religous things, they’re personal.  People ask me all the time, they walk up and say, ‘sir, what’s your favorite Bible passage?’  I tell them that’s too personal.  That’s between me and God,” Trump said. ” Same thing with the cross, and, and  the circumcision..  Jesus’s circumcision.  A guy came up and asked me…a big guy, strong guy…he said ‘sir’,…he knew I had Jesus’s foreskin.  Not many people know I have that, but this guy did, and he said ‘sir, how in the world did you get ahold of Jesus’s foreskin.’  Well, that’s really, I mean, super personal.  I’m not going to discuss Jesus’s…well, anybody’s… foreskin with him.  With anyone.  That’s REALLY personal.  People don’t know it, but the circumcision used to be a big thing in the church.  There was like… a holiday and everything.  It was like the 4th of July.  A really big deal. You don’t hear about it much anymore, but way back… it was really big.  And talk about personal.  I mean, come on.  Jesus’s foreskin!  To be honest I didn’t know much about it for a long time.  I read about it, maybe, or someone told me about it, I can’t remember, but just by luck I happend to get ahold of it.  Now, you know there’s not much there to work with.  I mean, come on!  It’s the kid’s schlong…not much you can divy up. But… you talk about rare!  Limited edition!  Limited.  LIM-I-TED!  So…I’ve talked to my people, good people, pastors, and church leaders, all sorts of leaders…just, only the Christian churches and leaders of course, and… they all think this is really, really valuable stuff.  I mean they say it’s like worth.. in the millions.”

The question on the minds of most of the reporters was just how would Mr. Trump “divy up” the Savior’s foreskin.  For now Mr. Trump said he could not give a precise answer.  “I have to work that out with my people, and we’ll just have to wait and see,” Mr. Trump stated. Apparently dealing with the deilcate tissue requires sensitive handling.  He did mention that whatever was decided in the way of dissemination, ultimately the ownership opportunities would be few.  To curtail some of the disappointment, Mr. Trump said since so many people consider him to be the new Messiah, he was pretty sure he could locate his own circumsized foreskin and offer it for distribution as well.  “They say that would sell like hot cakes, the hottest hotcakes. The religious…my religous followers, my favorite people.  They might really go for that. You never know how anything will go. We’ll just have to wait and see. ” So as always with Trump, we all must just wait and see.