Category Archives: Personal/Opinion

Trump Demands Fox News Show Only Images of Him as the Boxer

After Donald Trump lashed out at Fox News for consistently broadcasting what the former president perceived as unflattering images of him,Trump Not Happy with the Orange Label he has insisted the only picture of him he will allow the channel to use  will be the one of him as “the boxer.”

Mr. Trump’s communications assistant, Mort McCurrly, said the boxer is the former president’s favorite Trump Trading Card and he  knows his admirers hold him in high regard as a fighter.  He also felt since it worked so well for his friend President Putin, more nipple exposer would boost contributions to his various  PAC’s and internet cash contrivances.

 

“Such all promises/All lies and jest/Still a man hears what he wants to hear/And disregards the rest”    Simon and Garfunkel  THE BOXER

Sarcasm aside, projecting a  tough guy image has always been integral to Trump’s identity, and maybe his central characterstic that attracts supporters.  There is a logical rationale to that.  Decisiveness and fortitude are normally incorporated into it, positive attributes of leadership.  But Trump’s kind of tough guy has an edge to it that is insidiously vindictive and cunningly dangerous.  His form becomes a civil failing, and he compulsively interjects it into comments and conversation whenever he feels threatened or slighted.  And of all his many faults, this uncontrollable urge to denigrate and intimidate distinctivley  looms over all others as the reason he can not enlarge his base of supporters and the reason for the chaos he has caused, and frankly, encourages.

The RICO charges in Georgia are aptly fitting- ironic justice, in many ways, for someone who conducts himself and controls subordinates like a mob boss.  It is refreshing to finally see Ruby Freeman and Wandea Moss incorporated into the cause of justice.  Unfortunately  there are so many others, and so many reprecusions from Trump’s incendiary ranting.  So many innocent, honorable lives upended and even destroyed by a careless, detached narcicist.

Poll workers, election officials, jury members, prosecuting attorneys, witnesses, all just doing their jobs, are constant targets of Trump’s vitriol.  Trump gets upset, the word is passed to supporters via conservative media, and people are doxed, threatened, and even killed. There is a phalanx of Trump terroristic lunatics ready to swarm at his beck and call.  And doing so can of course backfire and get you arrested or killed, as it did January 6th, and recently in Utah Everything Trump Touches Dies  and Texas Arrested Development.

We have had presidents who were aloof, incompetent, even crooks.  But never was there one who attacked his own citizens.  Trump is simply incapable of anger restraint.  It is not leadership  in any fashion, unless you consider provoking people into criminal action is leadership somehow.  He is constantly attacking people who are performing the duties inherent in a democracy that any normal president, current or past, is obliged to defend. The  Republican hierarchy that continues to carry the weight of Trump’s lies is complicit in his undermining of our democracy.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I’d Be a Shame if Something Should Happen to Your Democracy

I know Trump’s power is his shamlessness, but this is a new level of anti-social behavior. You Can’t Spin This    Someone who posts veiled threats on social media, let alone immediatly after he has been warned by a judge in crimal court about bribing or influencing witnesses, has no business running as a legitimate candidate for President of the United States.  This is intimidation and witness tampering plain and simple.  Anyone else would  likely be facing a prison sentence.

Trump’s Catch 22

So Trump is in deep shit financially because of all the legal fees he has to fork over to defend himself and his cronies against three criminal indictments.  But with each indictment he introduces a new e-mail scam so he can collect more money from his entrenched supporters.  So, he doesn’t want any indictments because that will increase his risk for going to jail, but he wants more indictments so he can scam more money to pay for various legal counsel to keep him out of jail. Only in America.

ARIZONA DRIVING GLOVES

Laura Ingraham Changes Mind- Now Welcomes Muslims

In what is emerging as an apparent twist to Fox News support of White Supremacy ,Replacement Parts Are On the Way   Laura Ingraham, once a devoted advocate of Restricting Muslim Immigration  Lock Them Out, now publicly acknowledged their usefullness. Laura Likes the Look

Obviously impressed with the Muslim youths included in this episode of her program, Ms. Ingrham was later asked if she might not be afraid some of them would be radicalized and blow her up some day. Scary Brown People   Ms. Ingraham said she was confident if any such radicalization did occur, it was now obvious to her that if there will be any blowing up going on by these youngsters, it would be in a gay night club so there really should be nothing to worry about.

When asked if she had any concerns about Sharia Law usurping US constitutional law, Ms. Ingraham replied absolutley not.  “Like all cultures and countries, laws change.  Look at Roe-Wade and affirmative action.  Its obvious Muslims have a lot of good laws that are in common with our laws that support good Christian values.  It’s very comforting to realize Muslims and Christians share this common bond of viceral hatred of the LGBTQ community.”

There’s No Racism in America- Says Group of White People

Fox News viewers likely heaved a collective sigh of relief with the recent revelation  by the weekend crew of Fox and Friends that racism in the United States  has officially been extinguished.

During a recent program Fox News host Rachel Campos-Duffy assured her audience  that America is the least racist country in the world, and called President Biden a liar by suggesting racism is still problematic. Fox News Drives Stake Into Heart of Racism Co-hosts Pete Hegseth and Will Cain were in total agreement.

With visions of the Confederate flag being waved in the U.S. Capitol Building during the insurrection still etched into many American minds, not to mention the recent hate crimes committed  just since January of this year, like 150 members of the Patriot Front marching down the streets of DC, the  murder indictment dismissal by a Mississippi grand jury  of the woman responsibel for the torture and death of Emmett Till, torchings of synagogues in Austin TX and Bloomfiield NJ, and a mosque in Minneapolis, multiple attacks on poeple of Chinese decent in various cities, a white supremacist sentenced for shooting into two different conveniance stores because in one he saw a Black man and in another he thought he saw a Muslim, a Florida man attacking a group of Black men who were surveying along a public road, a prison sentence for a man who set a cross on fire in a Black neighbor’s yard, as well as books about  Black life being banned from school libraries and whitewashing Black history in textbooks,  all of which had one nosey reporter wondering how Fox News personnel get their own news.

As luck would have it, he chanced upon all three as they were leaving Fox News headqurters, so he pointedly asked them the question: “How do you guys get your own news?”

“Well, Fox News, of course,” answered Ms. Campos-Duffy.

“Same here'” replied Mr. Hegseth

“I get all my information from Fox News” said Mr. Cain

“Oh.  I see,” said the reporter.

 

 

TrumpWorld Is Flipping Out!

Brace yourself!  The MAGA crowd is absolutley loosing its shit over Trump’s indictment.  Republican Crack-Up  Fox News is panic stricken.  Tucker Carlson suggested this might be the time for his viewers  to oil up their AR-15’s.  Jesse Waters insists the country won’t stand for it and people better be careful.  Governor DeSantis says the rule of law has been turned on its head. Kevin McCarthy insists the indicment is an intolerable injustice. To Vice Presient Pence, it’s and outrage. Marjorie Taylor Green will hit the NY streets on indictment day.

For his part, Lindsey Graham has not given such an emotionally charged speech Vale of Tears since he stood on the Senate floor right after January 6th and publicly announced his official separation from anything Trump.   Rather than a defense of Trump, Graham seems so hysterical here you have to wonder if his melt down isn’t more about his fear of  being sucked  into another of Trump’s future indictments, specifically his involvement in Georgia election interference.  And believe me Trump’s cash coffers are doing just fine Lindsey.  Not only is he skimming money out of party political PACs, but he has elevated the art of grifting to stratospheric heights. It is uncanny how he can turn adverse, even borderline criminal situations, into a donation site.

But Lindsey is not weeping alone. Sorrowful Support    Jesus people, get a grip!

Just what is the complaint here?  There is no crime?  That can’t be.  We dont know yet what the official charges are, but Trump’s attorney Michael Cohen was convicted of two felonies- tax evasion and election tampering that, try as he might to deny, Trump is surely complicit in.

This is election interference?  Well, if a politician is involved, yes there is a political element.  But a state prosecutor believes a crime has been committed.  Politicians, like the rest of us, get prosecuted if there is evidence of a crime.  Trump is a criminal defendant, just like you and I would be in similar circumstance.   Timing judicial work-arounds for anything political when a politician is involved is almost impossible.  “While adherence to the rule of law requires that prosecutors pursue criminal indictments only where the facts, law, and principles of prosecution support such action, it is also critical that no individual be insulated from accountability simply because they are a national political figure, a former president, or a candidate for public office. Choosing not to pursue accountability for fear of political criticism or consequences is itself a deeply political act.” (quote from Connor Shaw- Citizens for Responsibility and  Ethics in Washington CREW)

A logical worry is the Stormy Daniels affair is the weakest of the four grand jury investigations of the former president.  That I am even writing that sentence will eventually be historicaly noted as one of this country’s most embarrassing and traumatic periods.  To that concern about this case I say so what?  Multiple crimes have more than likely been commited. Someone had to go first.  There has to be a lot of pressure to move forward with charges against a former president, whoever is pursuing them.  Trump might very well be proven innocent.  Defense attorneys only have to convince  one juror out of twelve. That’s one safeguad built into our criminal trial jury system Trump eventually could be thankful for. If Trump wins, bring on the next indictment.  Let’s clear things up once and for all. Or die trying.

Unfortunately we are also about to endure one of the shittiest constructs of our judicial system.  Due process has become so entangled, innumerable delays are a given with someone like Trump who has a lifetime history of delaying legal outcomes.  That is part of the process we  have to live with.  But the important thing is this indictment stregthens  the rule of law in our nation.  When someone says this procedure is an outrage, they are really saying this is outrageous because Trump is being treated like everyone else.

 

 

 

Tucker Carlson Says His Upcoming Programs Will Prove the Sky is Not Blue

According to Fox News, prime time commentator Tucker Carlson’s highly anticipated series “The Sky is Not Blue” will air as scheduled next month.  Carlson has been working on the project for several years and has collected over fifty thousand hours of video from the archieves of the Weather Channel.  He has long held a belief that what you see with your own eyes is not necessarily reality.  He recently stated “Every day you watch the liberal social media present their view of the sky.  But is that really what’s going on?  It looks blue, sure.  But what we have accumulated is survalence video of the sky that the viewing audience has never seen before.  There is no justification for this.  What I will be showing you is what is really happening up there.  As you know by now, we will always tell you the truth and everybody else is lying to you.”

Carlson will set up a studio in London and air “The Sky is Not Blue” from there.

Tucker Carlson Admitted to Hospital

Fox News commentator and America’s festering carbuncle was rushed to an area hospital after collapsing on the floor of the Fox News editing room.  The attending physician, Dr. Charles Smyth,  said it appeared Mr. Carlson suffered a mild intercranial hematoma, possibly caused by excessive mental exertion.  “The other person in the editing room said Carlson did not suffer any physical trauma.  He was just standing there staring at the editing screen, and suddenly collapsed in a limp heap and pool of sweat,” the doctor related.

During a phone consult, prominent New York psychiatrist Dr. Winston Schrinck indicated Carlson’s episode was more than likely emotionally triggered. A Couple of Demonic Forces  “When someone is under immense stress, like suddenly being exposed intercontinently as a pernicious liar and journalistic prostitute, particularly when that person is a public figure with a large audience, the mind quite often will suddenly slam on the brakes so to speak and pop a blood vessel.  I would suspect staring at January 6th tapes was the last thing this patient should be confronted with under the circumstances,” Dr. Schrinck stated. The Tab for Selling Your Soul

When asked what he would predict in the way of a prognosis, Dr. Schrinck was very optimistic.  “Someone like Mr. Carlson with no attachment to any kind of moral or ethical anchoring should expect a full recovery.”  The doctor went on to explain how shifting between fact and fiction takes its toll on the human brain.  “People must understand the complexity here,” Dr. Schrinck said.  “You have a man who invested all this time and effort in creating a completly different reality for a huge segment of society, and then kept tweeking the fabrication night after night.  And this  wasn’t just some insignificant trolling.  This concocted version of factual events kept the hopes of all those dreaming of crushing democracy alive.  Can you imagine the pressure?  But all the while he is fully aware of the truth.”

According to the doctor, the real problem for Carlson occurred when he started reviewing the January 6th tapes.  Since he was so involved with make-believe, yet recently outed as completely cognizant of fact himself, what is he to do with those tapes?  Does he go ahead and keep promoting his make believe world and alter the tapes, thereby solidifiying the adoration of his viewers.  Or does he confront the truth and risk destroying  the trust of the Fox viewing empire.  Dr. Schrinck proposed this conundrum created a mind bending conflict for Carlson and is what caused his vascular episode.

Addressing recovery specifically, the doctor said he expects Carlson to be able to convalesce  completey within a day or two.  “An accomplished liar becomes so attracted to the whole concept of lying that it just becomes second nature.  During hypnotic consciousness a person who has developed a propencity for lying like Carlson will subconciously daydream about lying.  Dreams of lying become so vivid it is quite often comparable to having an orgasm.  I suspect Carlson will be his old self and lying like crazy very soon because that is the path that gives him pleasure.  Should he unfortunately falter and not produce the economic results Fox News expects, the company appears to have a very strong bench of liars on hand who are adequately equiped for replacement.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Fishing Lodge Ostracizes Man over Outsized Whopper Tales

A man has been expelled from a Minnesota fishing lodge for exagerating the size of the fish he supposedly caught.  In speaking for the members of the lodge, Lars Oleson said the man texted a picture of himself holding a 28 inch walleye pike when in fact the fish was actually caught by another member of the lodge.  Mr. Oleson stated that last summer when three of his group were headed out to fish on Winnifishkabob Lake, the man asked if he could come along.  “He seemed like a nice enough fella,” Oleson said, “but he did have trouble keeping his name straight.  First it was George something or ruther,  then another time he said it was Anthony.  I guess you could say that should have been a tip this guy wasn’t on the up and up.  But in the past the lodge only had one rule- hot fishing holes are to be revealed to lodge members only.  The rest doesn’t matter.”  After agreeing to abide by this sacred rule, Oleson said Mr. George/Anthony was granted lodge membership.

Mr. Oleson said the only fish the new member caught that day was a walleye that wasn’t even 10 inches. “That he thought that fish was a keeper was a kind of mystery to the rest of us,” Oleson said.   Then early this year the man in question appeared on social media holding a trophy walleye.  “Anders let him hold the fish for a picture that day, but that was it. That was my friend Anders fish.  I recognized the fish, and Anders for sure did.  And then this guy shows up all over the place saying he caught the fish. So that’s the end of it.  We kicked the guy out.”

In a related matter, the same man has been seen on vaious social media sites embellishing the size of his genitals.  As a publc service warning, various photographs of the size-obsessed man in question are attatched.  To confirm identification of the man, carefully examine the photo and look for residual markings of a sanded-off Louiseville Slugger trademark or telltail signs of tree bark removal.

                                 

Various disguises of sized-obsessed man                  Possible dic-pic props used by sized-obsessed man

 

Evangelicals Conflicted Over Which is the True Almost Jesus

It has emerged that uncertain political winds have created a spiritual storm within a large segment of the the nation’s Evangelical community.  Rankling that population is the appparent fall from God’s grace of former President Trump and the ethereal ascendancy of Florida Governor DeSantos.  After witnessing the governor’s religous commitment, Beware all ye Pharisees and Democrats  for many he has replaced Trump as the true Almost Jesus.

Typical of the DeSantos believers is Reverend Mike Whiteman.  He sees the wholesale Fox News abandonment of the former president as a clear sign from God that Mr.Trump was a false prophet.  “I believe the hand of the Lord did guide  President Trump.  But it seems incomprehnsible to me that he is really the new messiah after what happened in the midterms.  The true Almost Jesus has to be Governor DeSantos.”

Someone sticking with the former president is Reverend Philip Schonburst.  “Mr. Trump absolutely is and will remain the true Almost Jesus,”  the Reverend stated.  “You can’t dismiss all the miracles he performed for us.  And the obstacles in his life.  Can you imagine what it took to persevere through all those law suites and allegations?  The Lord is watching over him no doubt, and if you ask me only someone with a direct devine connection could get by with all the stuff he’s gotten by with.  Yes indeed.  Mr. Trump is certainly still the Almost Jesus.”

Without some sort of mystical revelation occuring soon, it is feared a bitter feud is in the wings. To avoid a nasty schism, it has been proposed the two holy men engage  in a walk off across Lake Okeechobee in order to determine the true Almost Jesus.