Barnabas Collins, arguably recognized as the leading spokesperson for the vampire communtiy, is taking President Trump to court.  Incenced over comments the president made about Dark Shadows during his interview with Laura Ingraham this week, he apparently decided he had no choice.  “The president as we all know lives in his own reality and seems to enjoy provocation and denigrating practically all the “others” out there.  But this is now personal,” Mr. Collins said. “I can not conceive of any cultural group more apolitical than our society of vampires.  His statement that we are somehow influencing Joe Biden is ridiculous.  Blood type has no party affiliation.  Not only that, to suggest that groups of us are getting on airplanes and traveling around harassing Republicans only demonstrates how ignorant the man is.  Every gradeschooler on the planet knows really experienced vampires are perfectly capable of draculization and flying off to wherever they want, as long as the sun has set for a few hours.  And this is the man who is supposed to be in charge of things?  He’s a complete ignoramus.” Trump Insults Vampire Nation

Just when I didn’t think 2020 could get any shittier an integral member of my immediate family was whisked away to  whatever awaits in eternity.     This is a picture of my mom, me and my two siblings.  Normally you would assume my mother,  the grand lady seated here who looks 80 but is actually 101 is the person I am talking about,  (This pic was taken last year during her 100th birthday celebration).  But facing unpleasant surprise seems to be all that is normal right now.  The person traveling to meet his maker is my brother Nick (seated) who was 7 years younger than I.  He died while walking his two dogs near his home in Denver, totally unexpectedly, of a massive heart attack.

I know Nick’s family- wife Mary and children Gabe and Kaitlyn- have to feel extremely gratified that even under difficult circumstances their efforts to provide Nick with a proper farewell were well rewarded.  About that.  I was 7 years older than Nick so we essentially went our seperate ways growing up.  But circumstances later in life required coordinated trips to take care of our mother in Utah, and we became pretty close friends.   There were many speakers during the service who contributed stories about Nick’s incredible life that regrettably I could not converse with later because  my wife and I had to get back to Omaha immediately.  If there ever is a time when we meet again trust that I would love to hear expanded versions of your experiences with Nick.  The uniform impression left by every speaker at his funeral service was Nick was the guy you absoulty treasured as a neighbor because just ask and he would drop everything and head over to your house to fix something you screwed up.   It is so edifying to have others fill in the blanks of any life well lived.

Nick Miltner 1955-2020

After nixing an Obama era anti-discrimination housing regulation, President Trump addressed the benefits of his governance with a thoughtful tweet.  Most specifically, he pointed out that white suburbia would now be completley free of all criminal elements.George Wallace is Alive and Well

Later, during his daily corona virus briefing, the president noted that as always he has the best interest of the country’s black communities at heart.  Trump reminded the residents of the nation’s redlined enclaves about the aggravation of all the things you have to do in order to move out of a contamination zone, like having to fill out cumbersome change of address forms, choosing a better school for your kids, acclimating to clean running water, hiring movers and packing up all your meager belongings, and applying for home mortgages with complicated restrictions and invidious payment clauses, all unecessary burdens that the president insightfully will be sparing  his loyal black constituents.  In a short closing comment, Vice President Pence described the president’s action as another example of how he is making America great again.

I think we’re f****d.  Five months into this pandemic thing and we are right back where we were in March and April.  I have good friends and neighbors who remain supporters of the president, and honestly as I have said before I understand the initial attraction to someone whose political persona evolves around being a disruptive populist.  But man, I gotta tell you now is the time for this guy to pull his head out of his ass.  The disruption has taken a frightening turn into callous turmoil, and unecessary suffering  and death.

I joke about Trump a lot with one of of my neighbors, and let’s face it the president is a garish gift box of satirical opportunity.  But it’s difficult to keep extracting humor from this ever deepening pit of infectious chaos.  We might casually argue about the president’s racism, corruption, mysogeny, character, but we can no longer ignore his incompetence in handling this virus.  We have become the world’s joke. There is no reason the country that leads the world in all things instantly gratifying, supposedly has the best health care and scientific R&D, and has economic power  unmatched by any nation on earth, should be leading the developed world in pandemic morbidity statistics.

Elsewhere in the world, where there was universal government leadership, society is getting back to normal. Not here. Leadership Counts

What went wrong?  During his 2016 campaign, Trump boldly stated he was the only guy who knew how to fix all things.   A handful of evangelical leaders proclaimed he was divinely placed amoungst our midst to shephard the nation.  The truth is it’s not what went wrong.  What’s wrong is what has always been.  His central governing flaw is a total lack of governing experience. What makes it worse is he has no interest in learning how to properly do the job, and instead of advisors with expertise he has surrounded himself with spineless sycophants.

Of course someone like Fox New’s Laura Ingraham doesn’t help either.  She callously suggested we should all just learn to live with covid 19, supporting I suppose Trump’s position that the virus will one day just go away.  That is not a totally invalid assumption.  The Bubonic Plague did just go away at one point but came back in the 14th century for four years and killed 200 million people.  This is the 21st centruty.  We have scientific knowlege at our disposal  to help prevent sickness and death.  We should utilize it.

Personally I think Trump is an asshole.  But being an asshole does not preclude competence.  There have been some assholes throughout history that have been effective leaders.  But the reality is Trump is an asshole AND incompetent, and unfortunaetly it has taken this health crisis to expose the depth of his ineptitude. He diddled away precious time when he could have taken positive mitigating steps, absolved himself of all resposibility for doing next to nothing throughout the crisis, and then all of a sudden it dawned on him that kids have to go back to school.

The president’s plan so far to accomplish this is being taken right out of his governing playbook- to deflect and blame others.  Astonishly but not at all surprisingly, he has even blamed President Obama for stopping goverment covid testing.Back to the Future

The most appaling of his deflections is the politicization of science.  Attacking Dr. Fauci’s credibility and that of our public health institutions has vaulted our national covid discusion into the relm of some sort of bizzaro world.  People are doing just the opposite of what needs to be done.   Without dedicated involvement of public health expertise, this crisis might very well continue it’s jaggedly accelerated course for months.  This is a new, heretofore unknown, extremely contageous virus.  Science has discovered a lot concerning it, but is far from knowing all there is to know about it.  It’s a transformative learning curve. We are absolutly screwed if the Trump administration keeps interjecting politics into an evolving  health crisis. Opposition Research The  last sentence of this article is telling: “He (Fauci) looks at it from a very narrow public health point of view.” Ironically embarrassing for the the person responsible for the quote,  that is a precise description of his job.

Everyone wants the economy and our lives to get back to normal.  We were once tracking in the right direction, but Trump himself undermind all early gains by counterintuitively encouraging governors and citizens to ignore his own administration guideleines.  His carelessness  fueled public impatience which resulted in openings of uncircumspect  businesses like bars and restaurants and now the nation is faced with gut-wrenching decisions about school attendance.  Paul Krugman wasn’t far off when he wrote the country might have drank away our children’s future.  We are so far behind in taking control of this pandemic there is no way schools can open safely on time unless we have a total national shut down.  Of course Trump is not about to let that happen.

We are waist deep in the shitter here.  Extracting ourselves in time for schools to open seems like a long shot.  But maybe, just maybe, if the president quickly utilizes the knowlege science has provided we could at least attempt a late start, like October.  Geezuz do something.  Almost anything would help.  This craziness about slowing  the virus down by slowing down testing is, well, craziness.  The only thing logical about it is it absolutely emphacizes the fact that the president is only worried about how this virus affects him.

No parent is going to feel safe sending their child to school unless covid is generally under control and testing is generated on the scale of that avaiable at the  White House and the NBA. Testing in the U.S. remains disjointed. It should have been federaly coordinated from day one. And in many places where needed personal protective equipment is still not readily available.  After five months of this, those are unforgivable failures.  Why the president decided to politicize the simple act of wearing a mask is beyond compresension.  Why would anyone, especially Trump, not want to do everything possible to protect public health and in so doing, the nations economy.  We could probably cut infection numbers in half with enforced use.  Trump could do that.  He finally wore one so you have to believe he is aware it helps.  Just say the word.  True, we are an undicipled people,  But Mr. Trump.  Your believers will follow you.  That’s all you would have to do to show some leadership.

Parents are not going to want their children attending school until their local or regional health department confirms that covid 19 is under control.  Some basic requirements for that are a comprehensive viral positivity rate  under 10% and accurate, readily available testing with reasonably rapid results.  We have to be well prepared to contact trace and be well suplied with PPE in schools as well as in the health care domaine.  We need to stringently follow basic public health guidelines like social distancing and wearing masks.  We need a federally coordinated effort from the president to get these things done.

Surprise us all.  Replace “MAGA” with “Mask Up For America.” “MUFA.” It just might be the catch phrase that kick starts the economy and puts kids back into school.

President Trump recently procured a stockpile of bean products that he says will be a gamechanger in the ongoing fight against the out of control corona virus that is ravaging the nation.  The president stated it was Peter Navarro who first introduced him to the miraculous anti-viral benefits of the special beans.  “Peter’s a smart guy.  You know Peter. He keeps up with all the science stuff for me and does a great job,” the president affirmed.  The president would not reveal how many containers of bean products he has, but it has emerged he has ordered the removal of the thousands of doses of hydroxychloroquine he previously stockpiled in an undisclosed warehouse in order to make room for his beans.

Trump says he will relabel and trademark all his beans under the name “Trump Magic Beans.” The president said he will be offering his beans to the general public at a discounted price.  “I got a hell of a deal on my beans,” the president proudly pointed out.  “No one else could have made the deal I made.  Actually everyone around here is saying it’s the best deal I have ever made. After everyone gets onboard with Trump Magic Beans, you can bet the China virus will just disappear.”

Trump pointed out he will have nothing to do with the product’s profits.  In order to avoid conflict of interest and emollient clause violations, all sales and marketing will be conducted through the Trump Organization.  “It’s a terrific product, perfectly safe'” Trump insisted.  “I just started my second week of therapy.  Everyone should try it.  What have you got to loose?” the president queried.

Interestingly, several WH staff members said they had the uncomfortable answer to that question.  Since the president insisted everyone who holds a paid position in the White House take a full course of Trump Magic Beans, staffers are finding it impossible to locate available  restroom accomodations.  “The suggested doseage is a can a day for at least two weeks and up to however long the president prescribes. The restroom lines are 3 to 4 deep all day long around here,” said one distressed staffer as he quick-stepped down the hallway.

Ivanka Trump practicing for a marketing photo shoot for Trump Magic Beans

Like Trump or not, I think anyone who watched video of his return from that Tulsa rally found it to be incongruently stunning.  The man so obsessed and aware of appearances looked like someone who just lost his last dollar at a casino.  Antithetical to that perception of disaster to Trump was the glimmer of hope in others that at least some Trump supporters had sense enough to stay away from such an obvious envornment for covid-19 contamination.  But you could tell the half empty arena threw Trump off his game, admitting at one point during his speech that his delivery might be interpreted as only “average.”

Full disclosure I never watched much of the live stream of the speech.  Watching the condensed version of video clips has always seemed like a more efficient use of time to me.  There was the usual casual disregard of the truth that keeps a variety of fact checkers gainfully employed.  But there is one statement he made that his aides were desperatly trying to defend as an untruth, or just a silly joke.  Of course I am talking about that comment concerning his presidential  instruction to suppress viral testing.  In no way should that be considered funny and frankly should be frightning to everyone.

In the days that followed the Tulsa rally Trump has made it clear that he was not kidding.  The comment was all too truthful, and there is attached the dog whistling effect of Trump suggesting the people inside that arena should discard the thought of any testing when they return home, which is about the only way the slightest chance for contact tracing can occur.  Of course none of this should be a total surprise.  From the very beginning of the appearance of covid-19 in the U.S., Trump’s has consistently displayed a total lack of empathy for people affected by it.  Instead, what we see a man consumed by some sort of numbers game.  We all saw that when he bluntly stated he did not want American citizens disembarking from a cruise ship with stricken individuals on board because that would reflect poorly on his  “numbers.”   And now he has unabashedly admitted to that coldly calculated view.

Trump is certainly aware of the importance of our economy to his reelection.  What is particularly dumbfounding is how someone so absorbed with these viral numbers  so consistently fails to understand the basic, underlying connection between those numbers and the economy.  The economy will never recover until the viral numbers are dramatically improved.  Until we have an effective vaccine, they will only improve if we have robust testing and contact tracing, social distancing, and at this point, mandatory wearing masks in public.  If Trump would for once show leadership and just do the simple thing of wearing a mask and promote their use we could probably cut those viral numbers in half.

So we have a president who has a history of hamstringing and gutting our health agencies and procedures,  ignores all common sense guidlines,  and then can’t figure out why the economy is stagnant or in decline.  On top of that, he is insistent on doing something that is understood as dangerously inappropriate throughout the entire world- holding mass gatherings inside of  buildings without regard to any of the recommended saftey precautions.   And now we are finding out the administration has full discretion of billions of dollars of of covid 19 testing and  tracing funds that have not been distributed.  For some reason, stuck in Trumps head is this ignorant belief that fewer tests reflect fewer cases and therefore that will be proof covid-19 is under control.  It is the logic of an incoherent mind.

We should be situated like every other country that has delt with this pandemic- well placed on the downward curve of transmission.  Even with some states opening up early, if the importance of masking and social distancing had been enforced, we might be making progress.  Instead, we are seeing covid-19 spikes all over the country, because of the vanity, ignorance and poor example of the leader of our country. Holding rallys and therefore Jeapordizing the health of American citizens in so many insideous ways just to satisfy one’s uncontrollable ego is abhorrent.  Then to watch this president use these public platforms to further incite division in an already fragile social order by using racially inflammatory language like “Kung flu” is crushing.  Asian Americans are already being denigrated.  What kind of president says that sort of thing for its entertainment value.

Make no mistake, by neglect, mismanagement, and conscious interference,  Trump is responsible for the deaths of a lot of people and the continuation of our economic distress. We are a contaminated country, leading the planet in viral transmision to the point other countries are now restricting U.S. travel to their borders.  There is a rotten apple in our midst, and it rests at the top of the barrell.

In an effort to increase White House security, President Trump has ordered the U.S. Army Ordinance Corp to start planting landmines around the perimieter of the building, it has emerged.  “After those two new wall structures were put in place and topped with razor wire, the president just felt there was still something missing and hit on the idea of burying some landmines,” said press secretary Kayleigh McEneny.  She was asked if the president was at all worried about  projecting an image of panic-stricken weakness to the entire world with all the extra security measures.  “Quite the contrary,” Ms. McEneny retorted. “Our country is so fortunate to have a brave leader who understands that  the controlling power of domination is the best way to show the world how to unify a country.  And what more impressive displays of domination are there than razor wire and explosives,” she added dismissively.

Paradoxicly one person who might benefit from the mining defensive feature is Defence Secretay Mark Esper.  Considered to be the next cabinet member in line for removal after he contradicted the president over using active military to suppress citizen protests, the concealed explosive devices have produced an unforeseen task that actually might preserve Esper’s job. The president will be needing someone to lead the way through the White House grounds  to the  helipad, and he feels that duty would  most appropriately be performed by the secretary of defense.  It appears Mr. Esper can breath easy for now, and the press secretary gave assurance there is absolutely no reason that will not continue as long as he steps very, very carefully.

The confusing details of President Trump’s march to St Johns church are finally coming into a sharper  focus.  In an interview with press secretary  Kayleigh McEnany, she explained that the whole event was just the president’s idea for a campaign kick start.  With plenty of time for reflection during his seclusion in the White House bunker, he remembered how successful his 2016 escalator decent had been and thought  the cheering crowd accross the street in Lafayette Park offered a promising campaign opportunity. Son in law Jared agreed and he quickly proposed the idea of substituting the elevator with a presidential entrance invovling fireworks, horses, and a glorius appearance through a gradually lifting veil of heavenly clouds.

Ms. McEneny said there were still details to work out, but the Bible the president was holding is simply part of the campaign package.  This year, with the purchase of a MAGA hat and tee at www.makeamericagreatagain, the president is throwing in a Bible.  Everyone in attendance inside the bunker praised the president for his perceptive genius and assured him that true Americans were bound to be overwhelmed by such a patriotic AND spiritual gesture.

When Ms. McEneny was asked to give her opinion of just how effective the Bible affair had been, she reported that everyone she knew considered it to be a resounding success.  “I saw  people who litterally had tears in their eyes, and I heard several people say the whole event took their breath away and many were all choked up,” she said pointedly.