It was announced today that the Department of Homeland Security will clear out southern border immigrant detention facilities by transporting detainees to various sanctuary cities throughout the country.  To provide some comfort during their travels each will be issued a cozy, smallpox-laced, army surplus blanket.

Since  the only remaining sources of the highly contagious virus are tightly secured at the CDC in Atlanta and the VECTOR lab in Novosibirsk Russia, the veracity of the project as well as the credibility of the source of the report were vigorously questioned.  When it was disclosed that the person hatching the plan was none other than presidential senior advisor Stephen Miller, all doubts were cast aside.

President Trump is confident Stephen Miller (pictured) has what it takes to get the job done.