Forty two Republican members of the House of Representatives stormed a Capital Building cafeteria this morning to demonstrate their unconditional loyalty to President Trump and show support for his controversial Colorado border wall initiative. The congressmen positioned themselves at key locations to prevent service to members of the opposing party and spent five hours just milling about.
Asked why the group chose the dining facility for their demonstration, Louisiana Representative and House Whip Steve Scalise said they were all kind of hungry so it seemed like as good a place as any to stand around and waste time.
Speaking from a podium fashioned from a four gallon coffee dispenser in the beverage area, congressmen took turns voicing their concerns.
Iowa Representative Steve King, who has a solid reputation for being able to spot illegal aliens by the size of their calves, said it was about time we walled in Colorado. “The whole state is nothing but a den of iniquity. You have all those migrating marijuana miscreants flowing out of that state and pretty soon they end up in Iowa. The president is right on with this idea. It’s about time.”
Florida Representative Matt Gaetz, whose reluctance to share podium time appeared to annoy his fellow congressmen, initially stated he was in agreement with congressman King, but did indicate he thought the Colorado border wall was better suited to keep people out of the state. “I love the idea of state border walls. I think we should have one in Florida. This is the kind of forward thinking our president is famous for. Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU! President Trump.” Gaetz then went on a twenty minute tirade about a variety of issues, starting with a claim that the investigators involved in the recent U.S. State Department probe that found nothing illegal about Hillary Clintons’ emails were paid off by George Soros, and ended with an accusation that California Representative Adam Schiff is an avid participant in various forms of bestiality.
After gradually elbowing congressman Gaetz aside, Ohio Representative Jim Jordan also dutifully praised President Trump for thinking outside the box, and transitioned that thought into what appeared to be a defense of imbeciles. “You people think a Colorado border wall is a looney idea and that someone with no comprehension of the geography of the country he has resided in his entire life is a fool. Well guess what? You are the real fools. Think about all the times a person with a disturbed mind goes out and says crazy things that turn out to be perfectly acceptable after people repeat those crazy things enough times. Get over it.”