Recent polling confirms just how persuasive Trump idology has become in America. Shortly after his nationally televised press briefing in the Rose Garden, where President Trump boldly proclaimed that bears do NOT shit in the woods, multiple surveys of Republican voters were taken that indicate 51% of the party now also believes bears do not shit in the woods. 8% of the particpants still believe bears do shit in the woods. 41% are undecided.
The implications attatched to such a stunning reversal of factual knowledge have not been without public controversy. In order to tamp down criticism over the statement, the White House sent Coordinator of Lots of Things, Peter Navarro, to do an interview with CNN’s Jake Tapper. The following are excerpts of the discussion.
JT- So, speculation is the president said bears do not shit in the woods as a way of enforcing his distain for anything scientific. Is that the idea? Is he being honest?
PN- Look. Jake. Science isn’t always right. Scientists once said the earth has only existed for six thousand years.
JT- That was not a true scientific argument. It’s something religious Creation Science espoused that no one in their right mind believes. Yes, actual science is always evolving and correcting its course, but, the obvious, naked truth is– a bear does shit in the woods! It’s an undeniable fact of, of biology, of, of, nature. The point is, don’t you find it alarming that so many people believe something that is so obviously false, just because Donald Trump says it’s true? I mean, do you believe that bears do not shit in the woods?
PN- Have you ever seen a bear shit in the woods Jake?
JT- Well no. But I am sure others have. And there is bear shit all over the forrest floor!
PN- But who’s to say someone didn’t move that shit from somewhere else, like, the highway. We have some of our best people maintaining highway safety and appearance. You know Jake, you shouldn’t go disparaging the dedicated people of our highway maintenance departments.
JT- I didn’t. That has nothing to do with this The president of the Unted States said bears do not shit in the woods. That is not true. That is the issue.
PN- A bear might shit in a stream, not the woods.
JT- But a stream is normally considered a part of the woods, and anyway you can’t deny bears do shit in the woods. It’s where they live.
PN- Look, Jake. There are competing views. How about Zoos? Bears shit in Zoos, That’s not the woods.
JT- Of course that’s not the woods! Those bears are in captivity. It’s not their natural habitat.
PN- Jake. Nancy Pelosi herself said she once saw a bear take a crap in her neighbor’s back yard. So it’s ok for her to say bears shit in the city? You can’t have it both ways Jake.
JT- That’s not the point!! That’s a whole different environmental issue! You’re the one trying to play both sides of the fence!! The point is the president is not being honest with the American public. He is lying!! Did the president lie to the American people?
PN- Jake, your want to go there? You want to go there Jake? What about the forrest. Bears shit in the forrest too!
JT- THAT’S THE SAME THING!! You’re not answering the question!!
PN- Jake. Jake. You’re cherry picking. The president is simply saying a bear could shit somewhere else.
JT- Come ON!! You’re the one cherry picking! That’s not what he said! The president said bears do NOT shit in the woods!! Bears clearly shit in the woods!! It’s an undeniable fact of nature!!!
PN- You know Jake, this is just like CNN! You guys NEVER want to hear the truth!! You cherry pick and distort and…
JT- (abruptly ends conversation) OK that’s it. You’re not answering the question. Thank you for being here Peter. Just to remind our viewers, the fact is the president actually said, on national television, that bears do NOT shit in the woods. And that is a blatant lie.
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