Another Elitist Deluge Threatens to Overflow the Swamp

Geezus this pisses me off.  Our lying POTUS (Particularly Offensive Turd Under Suspicion) is out there unabashedly protecting the interests of shifty corporate profiteers at the expense of the working class.  Last week there was this- Invasion of the Swamp People  Treasury Secretary Mnuchin is covered in bog slime.  He personally destroyed the lives of thousands with his ruthless and often illegal foreclosure practices when he was CEO of One West Bank.  Old news I know.  As is the conduct of EPA director Scott Pruitt. It would be comforting to know the administration is looking out for our general health and safety, but what takes priority time after time is corporate profits. Goodby clean air and water. With his intent to replace the advice of scientists in his department with that of his oil and gas cronies, kiss the EPA goodby as well.

Trump wasn’t kidding when he said he would surround himself with the very best advisors, if your idea of best is being the best at promoting self interest.   It’s true he has not been able to get a single piece of major legislation through congress, but while the president  distracts with sophomoric tweets and petty, purposeless diatribes, those very best advisors are sure getting shit done- during the darkness of the night.  It isn’t until we see a media report later that a clear understand of the devious nature of this administration once again hits us right in the face.  The burning question that looms larger every day is how long will his political base put up with gleefully taking it straight up the ass?

 

TRUMP CASBINET MEETING OVER COCKTAILS

TYPICAL AMERICAN HANG-OUT

BREAKING NEWS!  And speaking of hiring the best, how about that Manafort guy?  When POTUS tax returns are unveiled there’s a good chance we’ll see just how good the indicted fella was at advising Trump how to launder his own money.

 

 

Local Resident Says Country On Right Track

Bouyed by President Trump’s recent assertion that he is solely responsible for the bullish stock market  and that somehow Wall Street gains are reducing the national debt, local unemployed resident Mike Blade says he feels confident the president knows what he is doing.  “That’s why I voted for him,” Mike stated. “He knows business and now that all that debt is under control you’ll be seeing me and lots of other folks around here getting a leg up on things,  you can bet on that.”

Mike Blade

Asked if he owned any stocks that have helped him get his leg up personally, Mike indignantly replied “Stocks are how those rich c**k s*****s on Wall Street get even richer. Those dirty b******s do nothin’ but f**k the rest of us over.”  Since the president’s remark about the stock market was an obvious  boast that his economic policies have benefited the  privileged rather than the poor and disadvantaged, Mr. Blade was asked if he was struck by the irony of his comment.   He responded by prattling on about the safety regulations of iron ore mining.  In his defense, he seemed confused by the word “irony.”

This reporter did attempt to inform Mr. Blade that the national debt has not changed much and the stock market has nothing to do with reducing it, but he became a little incensed and said “That’s b**l s**t.  You don’t know business like President Trump, and besides that Fox news fella Sean Hannity even backed him up.  So go f**k yourself.”

 

 

Three Things

Has this Trump guy just worn you out?  One ridiculous thing on top of another tends to numb the brain, and actually many pundits and even professional psychologists believe that this behavior of his is absolutely intentional- that he does all this stupid shit continually so that the majority of us simply can’t keep up and we loose track of just how moronic he is.  Thank you Rex for calling attention to the obvious.  We need a reset every once in awhile.

Which brings me to my first “thing.”  Trump indicated in one of his recent tweets he would love to have an I.Q. test-off with his secretary of state.  Raise your hand if you likewise think this is a smashing idea.  Personally I think we would be in store for quite the revelation since this is a man who never reads a book,  who’s vocabulary is limited to 350 words, and refuses to release academic transcripts of any kind.

Yes, I am worn out also.  I really need to take a break from political blogging. There are so many blogs and op-eds out there written and spoken by way more qualified people than myself.  It’s just easier to marshal their words with a link insertion, like this. Tom Brokaw and Guns.  No one needs a silencer.  Use some ear plugs if the noise from your hunting rifle bothers you.  How in the world the sale of “bump stocks” ever materialized is beyond me, but there is no sane reason any regular citizen should posses an assault rifle in the first place.  And Geezus H Kreist open carry on college campuses?  WTF?  There have been four recent shooting incidents on Texas campuses now, two of them fatal.  Is there no one with the balls to take on the gun lobby?  How refreshing would it be if a political party evolved whose platform was solely to do the unthinkable- take away guns.  Why not?  We have a president who’s radical agenda seems to be a nuclear war.  We need a counterbalance to all the insane chest thumping hawkishness with some kind of dovish appeal.  It’s the democratic way.

                  

More of This                                         Less of This

That was point number two.  Number three is something more realistic.  I can’t remember what stupid thing Trump wanted to deflect from by initiating his mind-boggling statement about objecting to protests in the NFL.  As mentioned, who can keep track?  But  this could end up being a gaffe that comes back to bite Trump in the ass.  Can you imagine the public outcry if the NFL shut down operation over this?  It really wouldn’t take much now that Dallas owner Jerry Jones just opened the door to a political shit-storm by thretening to bench or fire any of his Cowboys who kneel during the national anthem.  If a couple of his starters take a knee anytime soon you can bet there will be a very good chance of a landslide of professional participation.  The players would have Jerry Jones and the NFL by the balls. And as much as I hate to say it, good for them.  I love football.  I might go crazy myself without it.  But this is just the platform professional athletes should exploit to emphasize their position, which is to demand equality, not disparage the military, the flag, or even the president.  Peaceful protest is a fundamental  first amendment right of every citizen.  I imagine there would be some good ol’ boys in Alabama rethinking their jubilation over Trump’s initial provocative remark that launched this unnecessary  maelstrom during his political rally in their football crazy state.

 

Gratuitous Exploitation

Interjected in the center of all this controversy about kneeling during the national anthem is the question” why”. It arises again and again with our current president.  I’m not talking about why it’s happening.  We know that it is all about freedom of speech and the right to protest.  And likewise I’m not talking about why many consider the whole thing to be such a display of disrespect of the flag and all it stands for.  That is perfectly understandable.  Personally I have to say I wish athletes could find a different way to express themselves.  The head scratcher for me though is why the president of this nation  would go out of his way to inflame an already sensitive issue. That would be something to ponder if we had a normal man running the country.  But this is the Donald Trump show, directed by a man who by now we have come to realize is so completely not normal, the “why” in this situation is fairly easy to ascertain.

During all the anthem kneeling and so forth, what has surfaced as debatable argument with a likely outcome of gradual resolution, overnight turned into a firestorm of controversy, all because of a provocative statement  president shit-for-brains made during one of his after market campaign rallies.  Make no mistake.  Trump did not go to Alabama to stump for a Republican congressional candidate, although that was the initial intention pushed by the WH. Trump seems unsure if he is even backing the right candidate. Stumping for a primary candidate is a bit odd in the first place.  The real answer to “why” here is it was just another chance to supply Trump with a fix of his never ending need for public adoration.  What better way to give his ego a boner than letting him listen to a crowd of his staunch supporters enthusiastically respond to his profanity-laced course of red meat- the kind seasoned liberally with racial overtones.

Labeling NFL players who protest during the national anthem as unpatriotic is a complete win for Trump when his audience is a rabble of football crazy Alabama good ol’ boys. Heck, nationally over half the population feels that way, or is at least uncomfortable with that type of expression. Include me in the uncomfortable segment.   And Geezuz it’s hard to feel sorry for anyone making millions of dollars, although you can’t help admire someone who is willing to get his brains scrambled all in the name of entertainment.   Calling anyone an SOB during a nationally televised speech is pretty crass for anyone holding public office though, let alone the president of the United States, but unfortunately it is what we have come to expect from this president. You can argue that protesting during the national anthem is disrespectful to the flag, but so is racism.  As hard as it might be for many to swallow, these NFL demonstrations are about racial justice, not the U.S. flag,, the national anthem, our military, or Trump.

An ironic twist to this whole episode is instead of remaining unemployed, the chances of Colin Kaepernick getting picked up by an NFL team are suddenly looking promising, exactly the opposite of what Trump intended with this recent speech.  I’m surprised the editorial pages in Alabama didn’t go ballistic about Trump’s lack of football knowledge.  Outside of a platoon of combat vets or company of firefighters, I doubt if there is any institution that evokes more loyalty to their group than a team of football players.  Anyone who has played the game, from high school on up, is instilled with a sense of camaraderie that no doubt can be attributed to the violence of the sport.  Throw in the fact that 70% of those playing in the NFL are black, and you should understand chastising one of its members for exercising first amendment privilege to point out racial inequality is bound to create some blowback.  Trump’s concept of loyalty however only flows in one direction- his.  Underscoring how little the president knows about football is his comment about how the sport is not violent enough for his liking.  Every NFL owner arm-locked in protest with their team or otherwise knows all too well it is exactly that that could  be cause to litigate the sport out of existence.

“Bone Crusher” Kowalski models prototype of NFL headgear requested by President Trump

Of course that is all secondary.  The real issue is anyone’s first amendment right to protest.  And a protest is only as effective as the impact it has on society.  Whether you agree or not with Colin Kaepernick or any professional athlete taking a stand to promote racial equality during the national anthem, it is their right to do so.  And importantly, like it or not, for these black athletes there is no better opportunity to create impact than during the peaceful resonance of the national anthem.

Just for the hell of it here is a Chicago Tribune article that expresses the concerns of those who feel President Trump created an unnecessary shit-storm.  Presidential Fumble

Once again, instead of presidential leadership, we get little but incompetence and cultural divisiveness because of our president’s insatiable need for gratuitous applause.  Like this Tribune article implores, let’s leave race relations, free speech, religious protection, and now sports, to leaders who still have credibility.

 

 

 

The Land of the Free

See this? This American Land  You don’t necessarily have to read the article, although if you appreciate nature you will likewise appreciate what David Brooks has to say.  I just wanted to rub something in.  I just got back from spending a week in the Teton National Park, pictured at the top of this article.  It is a majestic place, and when planning vacations I make it a point to include a visit here whenever possible. I don’t like mentioning how beautiful the area is, because then you might get the idea you have to go there and I really don’t want you cluttering up my space.  But it is a national park, preserved for all of us to enjoy, so it is only fair that I put my personal feelings aside and hope for the best.  I’m from Wyoming, so when I was a kid my father took our family to the Tetons many times.  The first time I laid eyes on the imposing beauty of those magnificent mountains it took my breath away, and that reaction occurs even to this day.

There are many, many places in our country that are similarly striking and if you are the type that truly does appreciate nature you probably hold a special place in your heart for one of those places.  Chances are it is one of America’s national parks or monuments.  Which brings me to another article with a heading photo of a place in my home state, and it really pisses me off.  Making America Polluted Again.  It is very true that Trump has little interest in policy and practically makes it a point to stay disconnected from any kind of agenda.  The one constant that holds Trump’s interest though is a bazaar, pernicious obsession with the destruction of the environment.

Why?  “I’m, like, a really smart person,” to quote the guy.  He apparently attended a prestigious college- Wharton School of Business, but he leaves to the imagination how accomplished a student he was since he won’t release his transcripts.  Was his educational experience totally related to business and devoid of any academic course involving the humanities?  Growing up, did he live his life walking only along concreat paths and amongst nothing but a forrest of tall buildings? Something in the Brook’s article struck me.  He points out that Trump is “Untouched by wilderness, by the awe and humility that comes with the encounter with nature.”  The closest thing the man has to any kind of naturalistic epiphany is the boner he gets when he visits one of his golf courses.  For a very enlightening perspective of how he feels about golf, get a look at the August edition of Sports Illustrated ( First Golfer ).  It’s a long article, but worth the read if you want a different perspective of how this privileged man has lived his life.  I think you would find how he has screwed local communities out of their educational tax revenue by manipulating the tax assessment of his golf courses in his favor particularly galling.  What caught my attention personally was how he equates golf with status.  Deep into the article he states people should “earn” the privilege to golf.  WTF?  I don’t play a lot of golf, but Geezuz I don’t feel like I’m something special when I do. I do have my own special rule when I’m on a course though.  That’s everyone in my group has to stop off at the clubhouse for drinks every 3rd hole.  I have found that does wonders to tilt the field of competition towards my level of incompetence.

What Trump infers of course is there is no way in hell you are going to play on one of his courses unless you reside in the economic class that can afford to pay his gaudy membership and rental fees.  Only the pampered rich dare belong.  What an asshole.  Instead of playing golf every weekend, I think it would be a good idea if Trump spent a week just relaxing within the confines of one of our beautiful national parks.  Perhaps take a book along, one of those large informational ones about the spectacular places in our country, the kind that has few words but lots of pictures to help him out. Should be a good way to prod a neophyte into appreciating the world around him.  There is a good chance what David Brooks postulates is correct.  Perhaps what we all need is a reconnection with the land.

 

 

Presidential Eclipse

This is rich. The Sun and the Moon.  Most people probably saw this somewhere, but it is worth mentioning once more that it would be in the president’s own best interest if someone took his phone away.  Somehow Trump thinks this meme tweeted by one of his devotees was worthy of his retweet.  It’s a well known fact the man has the attention span of a gold fish, but if he thought it through he would realize this is hardly flattering.  We know English grammar and vocabulary were not exactly his scholastic strengths, and obviously any kind of subject involving history must have been a challenge for him.  But now maybe we have an understanding of where his climate change denial comes from.  Science class must have been a big bother to him.  He probably felt it was more important  to get a a good look up little Lucy’s skirt than it was to pay attention on the day his teacher explained a solar eclipse.  Actually you couldn’t ask for a more appropriate analogy to the Trump presidency.

We had a former president who was a bright star of  intelligence and dignity, was eloquent, diplomatic, principled, and respectful, and then along comes the next one and the light went out.  And an eclipse only lasts for a short period of time.  Let’s hope there is something merciful on the horizon and the Trump  presidency moves into its short and final stages.

The reaction of course is something we should expect from this man who seems so desperate for attention and adoration, but not only did President “Thumbs for brains” appear clueless about the meme itself by retweeting it, but it turns out the sender of this ironic tweet is a practicing white supremacist.  Once again, how appropriate.

Who Are We?

I think I have mentioned I read a lot. It’s the way I cope, living day to day in Trump world.  Lately I have developed a curiosity about things that are existential and philosophical.  Probably a big waste of my time.  I should be watching sports on TV.  I like to read about evolution, and books about that topic will inevitably ask the big questions, Who am I and Where did I come from and How did I come to be here?  Well shit, I know who I am, at least I know my own name.  And I came from hard working parents who were raised in the the corn belt with midwestern values and settled and raised their family in a very conservative western, overwhelmingly white, state.  I never saw a black person in my home town and it was not until I went to college in Omaha that I had any contact with members of that race.  And I am embarrassed to say that in spite of having absolutely no interaction with a black person, when I was young I had prejudices against them that were of course unfounded and ridiculous.  Those misconceptions were a product of my father, a member of the “Greatest Generation,” the generation that saved the world from Naziism but paradoxically had engrained in it feelings about black society that ranged from prejudicial naiveté, as was the case with my father, to outright hateful bigotry.

Stupid Dicks

But I grew, matured, and became aware of racial/social injustice, and believed that, slowly but surely, as a country we were progressing likewise.  And so It is upsetting to me to see something so disconnected from American principles like we all witnessed in Charlottesville Virginia earlier this month.  I know who I am.  But who are these stupid dicks and where in hell did they come from?  Those are the big questions I have.  What was striking to me and particularly alarming as well was the fact that the white supremacist faction during this demonstration was pretty much all young men.  What I expect to see at these supremacy gatherings are old farts, men my age who still have not been able to cast aside the prejudices of their fathers.  I see far more men of the generation behind me participating in these nefarious demonstrations.  It is a generation that by now should have a better grasp of racial issues and  a more flourishing respect for humanity.  I can’t help feeling that instead of our society evolving forward with more understanding and compassion, it is slipping backward and becoming  more prejudicial and tribal.

I seriously doubt the morons carrying tiki torches and screaming racial and religious insults were in Charlottesville to express disapproval of removing a statue.  They were there to foment trouble and express hatred.  And yes there were those with an opposing viewpoint that felt it was important to take a stand and physically confront the rabble of white supremacists.  Certainly that is regrettable.  But to say there was a moral equivalency between the two groups, as did our ignorant, unhinged president, is absurd.  One side was spewing racial and religious hatred and the other had members among it that became lamentably but understandably incensed enough to react.

Perhaps people should take some time off from their busy programs of harassment and give serious thought to role reversal.  Envision a time gone by where your white ancestors were abducted from a far away land, chained together and stuffed on slave ships for a couple of months, forced to labor in a foreign country of ruling blacks, and were whipped, raped, mutilated, hung and abused in every way imaginable,   Of course there were no legal repercussions for any of the atrocities because slaves were considered property and in the eyes of a slave holder had little connection to humanity.  And lets say after a bit of time a large segment of the black population decided there should be an end to all the cruelty, but another segment of the black population decided it was not about to relinquish its peculiar institution of inhumane conduct and thus raised an army that initiated a treasonous war with the intension of governmental separation.  Then that war took the lives of over a half million of the country’s black men, but as horrible as it was, at least it once and for all put an end to the practice of white enslavement.  And imagine that even though slavery was officially abolished, a good percentage of blacks maintained an erroneous sense of superiority over the white race, accompanied with practices of intimidation, and inaugurating upon it one indignity after another.  You can bet as time moved along the white population would not appreciate seeing any kind of reminder about that scandalous past.

To those legitimately  participating in this demonstration or any other for sentimental or historical reasons and think it is important to save these statues, personally I would not argue your point.   Save all those statues of Confederate soldiers, but put them in museums all around the county and attach to each a narrative that explains what the Confederate South in America stood for, which was slavery, intolerance, and an appalling example of man’s inhumanity towards his fellow man.  It is indeed important to save history, but it is just as important to remember it.

 

 

 

 

Shelter

Are you ready for some FOOTBALL?!  Autumn is close approaching, so it’s that time of year you know.  But are you ready for some FALLOUT?!  Armageddon is just around the bend, so you might want to prepare.  Have you stocked up on bottled water?  How about your basement?  You could be living down there for a bit, so you should think about making it comfortable.  I wouldn’t delay sealing off your basement  windows much longer.   Home Depot is already running out of cinder-block.  Damn I just thought of something.  I don’t have any kind of generator.  It’s football season for Pete sakes. I simply must have ESPN access.  I know for a fact the NFL is not about to let a little nuclear attack interrupt its cash flow.   My big screen is in the basement at least, so I’m in good shape there.  But if my only electric power source is a gas- fired generator, do I have to step outside to fill it up?  Maybe I can trick my wife into taking care of that.

What else should I get?  Of course I need some snacks.  I really like those lime chips.  I want to reserve all my generator output for my TV, so I probably can’t afford the power drain of a refrigerator.  It would be nice to have ice for my scotch, but there are worse things.  Of course I have plenty of scotch on hand.  Geezuz I hope you’re not one of those dumb bastards that’s never prepared for a scotch emergency.  I have a shower in my basement, but I have no idea how long I’ll have running water, so my guess is it could get kind of stinky down there.  Do you think two cases of Febreze will do?  And while I’m on the subject of stink, what about taking a dump?  How do you handle that?  Sure I have a toilet in my basement, but again it’s bound to stop flushing at some point.  I think what is commonly recommended is a bunch of buckets.  So I’ll get some of those. But at some point you have to empty them, right?  Son of a bitch!  I suppose I’ll have to be the one to quick-step outside and take care of that.  It’s just fair.  My wife handles the generator and I take care of the squat buckets.  If you know anything about marriage, a stable one is all about compromise.  Please don’t let my neighbor know I’ll be  emptying my buckets over the fence.

The bad thing is there won’t be football on all the time, so I need some other form of entertainment. My wife and I aren’t terribly fond of card games.  But we both really enjoy reading.  At least we have plenty of books.  It would be nice if the two dip shits that seem intent on doing all they can to get us into this mess were so inclined An Incurious President

Relativity

I’m 70 years old today!.  Everyone says that’s just impossible, that I don’t look a day over 50.  OK.  It’s Trump-speak.  Alternative fact. The word Everyone should be more like “Everyone,” in quotes, which would then more accurately qualify the statement to include only those enduring nuclear cataracts and acquaintances afflicted with insufferable niceness.  But still, looks aren’t everything.  Sure I’m losing hair in areas desired and growing it in places that seem counter evolutionary.  And the leathered skin on the backs of my hands has all the look of a Slinky in motion whenever I rotate a wrist.  I’m considering an upgrade from bifocals to tris as well as another new knee, and what the fuck is that little lump doing on the inside of my calf.  But guess what?  My gut might be expanding, but so is my brain capacity.  I know some shit.  Inside my head is a treasure trove of facts and ideas straining to escape. After 70 years of storage, it’s difficult to contain it all.

Contemplating on Lake Tipsy

For instance, did you know a ten gallon hat will only hold 3/4 of a gallon.  Is that a bunch of shit or what?  And during your lifetime you will create enough saliva to fill a couple of good-sized swimming pools.  That means if you hang around your local western wear store for a few days you could fill up one of those ten gallon hats.  Serves those bastards right for dicking us over for so many years.

I Have an Axe & Know How to Use It

King Henry VIII slept with a gigantic axe beside him. Maybe you don’t find that surprising since the guy was known to have ended a marriage or two by utilizing the instrument.  You would think any of his wives that still had their heads attached would have considered the practice a bit odd though.  But I bet you didn’t  know I sleep with an axe too.  Well, not all the time.  Just when I’m camping.  And I guess you wouldn’t call it gigantic.  It’s my camping hatchet.  So far my wife hasn’t voiced any concerns. Another thing.  Besides the hatchet on one side of my bedroll, I sleep with an ice pick on the other.  Consider this knowledge fair warning if you have intentions of sneaking up on me in the middle of the night.

As you might have guessed  I’m very much an outdoorsy kind of guy, so I know a lot of stuff about the animal kingdom too.  Billy goats urinate on their heads, and birds don’t urinate at all.  A flock of crows is not called a flock.  It is called a “murder.”  Look it up if you don’t believe me. Every human spends a half hour as a single cell, thus we are basically related to early protists like amoeba.  Moving up slightly on the evolutionary ladder are the multi cellular Coelenterates which  encompasses the animal phyla Cnidaria, although the validity of this classification is disputed since the relationship with it and the Ctenophora is not as distinct as once thought.  But all you really need to know about Coelenterates is since they use their solitary orifice as both a mouth and anus, it has been determined it is from this phyla from which Donald Trump has descended.

I know a lot of science too, and not just piddly stuff.  I’m talking about complicated shit, like relativity.  E=mc2 my friend.  If I wanted I could explain this to you, but it took Einstein himself  an entire day to explain it to a bunch of smarty pants physicists back in 1905, and I haven’t got all day.  To make it simple for you I’ve come up with my own postulation about relativity. Observe the following:

       where R represents basic relativity, meaning relatives of the in-law dimension, god I hope you know what the two parallel lines mean,   in this case means a regular pie that you might eat, not that math equivalent of 3.14, (although coincidentally that was the number of pies my uncle Ralph ate years ago at the church pie-eating contest right before he collapsed with a cholesterol induced myocardial infarction)  and of course even you can figure out what a sad faced emoji represents.

Since they likely have no clear understanding of the physical laws and adaptations required in their new world order, I usually take a moment to explain my theory to any incoming fellow in-law. The other day I sat down and did just that with the most recent in-law addition, Steve, and though his mind tends to wander on occasion I think he finally has a decent grasp of how the whole thing works.  In it’s simplest terms, what the equation postulates is that at any point in time, there exists the probability of an in-law of any dimension shoving a pie in your face.  I derived my theory back in 2002 at the Old Mill laboratory on Green Lake MN.  That’s when my sister-in-law Kim smeared my face with a piece of chocolate cake.  Since this is my theory, I have  taken the liberty to incorporate both pie and cake into the symbol  .  If you feel there are other variables that should be included in my pie/cake symbol, let me know and maybe we can work something out.  I heard Nikki once threw a worm at my fellow brother-in-law Jim in the fishing boat, but it never hit him in the face, so obviously that would never survive scientific scrutiny.

The best thing about my theory is there is an applicable companion one that  I call the Inverse Theory of Relativity.  It is represented by this equation:

     where every variable is the same as it is in my Regular Theory of Relativity, except that the sad faced emoji is replaced with a happy faced emoji  because it is my face when I blasted Kim’s face with piece of chocolate cake in 2012 at the Long Climb House on Green Lake.  You can not help but conclude from both of my theories there seems to be some kind of evolutionary displacement of pie by cake going on in the universe.  I don’t know for sure if this is related to climate change, but rest assured I intend to get to the bottom of it all.  I have deep affection for pie and would hate to see anything bad happen to it.

No researching slouch himself, here you see my nephew neck deep in some scientific inquiry of his own on the beach at Green Lake.

As you can see I’m a pretty deep thinker and obviously don’t just sit around doing nothing.  Ok I do take a nap daily but that’s because there’s a lot of neuro-electrical activity going on and the generator has to be recharged.  I realize there’s a good chance you might not be so equipped, so you probably don’t  understand.  If you ever want to achieve my level of intelligence by the time you are 70, it might be a good idea if you stop wasting your time reading shit like this and open up a book* for a change. Trust me it’s not going to kill you.

In parting, let me just say if you leave everything to the last minute…it will only take a minute.  And worms taste like fried bacon.

*Should you be interested in other compelling information like this, buy my book “Fishing with Bobby and Mike” you cheap bastard.  Geezus you’ve got Amazon Prime by now don’t you?

 

Our Most Supreme Scout Master Has Cerebral Melt-Down

Is this guy for real?  Every time I think Trump can not possibly be any more shallow, he finds another way to drain the pond.  This son of a bitch is absolutely nuts.  Seriously.  There is something wrong with a person who is so completely absorbed with himself.  And nothing gives him a boner like a crowd of cooperative people, his most recent mark being a huge gathering of teen age boy scouts attending a Jamboree.   Of course none of them can even vote, but that didn’t stop our megalomaniacal president  from turning the event into one of his ego-stroking campaign orgies.  I think he was even surprised by the chorus of jeers and cheers he got whenever he pulled something from his bag of trigger words and phrases.  It is truly a sad day in America when the president of the United States thinks manipulating a group of pubescent boys into a chanting frenzy by denigrating a predecessor is setting an appropriate example of patriotism.  It’s the Boy Scouts of America!  They are supposed to be out there promoting God, country, and civic duty, but president shit-for-brains just could not resist the temptation to provoke the impressionable group into giving him one of his adulatory orgasms and in the process humiliate them and the entire organization.  The man is absolute pond-scum.  And that also goes for the ass-kissing members of his cabinet standing right behind him and encouraging him with their shit-eating grins.

I was a boy scout, loved being a part of it and learned a lot from participating.  Fortunately I was never subjected to any maniacal  rantings by a flakey adult.  The organization has a law.  It begins “A scout is:” and after that is just twelve words. Here they are: Trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, courteous, kind, obedient, cheerful, thrifty, brave, clean, reverent.  It might be smart if the scout leaders of each troop in attendance do some recon when they get home and suggest the youngsters do their best to purge their brains of the self-angrandizing and incendiary rhetoric uttered by Trump at this Jamboree.  It should be easy to make their point.  Do you see any of these attributes in Donald Trump?  Maybe “clean,” but only because he is a paranoid germaphobe.  If you could be prosecuted for violating the Boy Scout Law, Trump would get a life sentence in a federal prison.

I wonder what is upcoming on the Trump quasi campaign trail?  If he sees a huge gathering of migratory geese resting along a river bank while he is flying in Air Force One, he’s likely to instruct the pilot to land so he can go tell his feathered friends what a smashing victory he had in Wisconsin.  I heard there is a national Girl Scout conference scheduled in a few months, and boy would he love to weasel in a speaking invite there.  Mom’s, if you have even the slightest inclination that might happen, and any knowledge at all of previous Trump behavior towards young women,  you might want to consider tagging along on this one.  Of course you must be ever vigilant lest you be grabbed yourself.