Like half the country I was absolutely stunned with the election results this November.  If there is a bright side to it for me it is I can say I told you so.  No, I did not vote for Donald Trump.  As of this point in time I still consider him to be an opportunistic, egomaniacal scum bag and can’t see that opinion ever changing.  But you have to hand it to him for taking advantage of the opportunistic part of that description.  This whole thing is a reaction of the masses that has been gradually percolating inside of our socio-economic beaker, and it was Donald Trump who provided the catalyst for the explosion of revolt.

People are fed up. I mentioned that in my book “Fishing with Bobby and Mike” that i wrote three years ago.  I know you read it.  You just probably skimmed over that chapter and weren’t really paying attention.  You should get your shit together and maybe do some on-line memory improvement training.  OK I can’t take full credit for foreseeing our revolution.  My well weathered, favorite economist Robert Reich was the one who opened my eyes to what was on the horizon.  Three years ago he said unless we get big money out of politics we won’t be able to do anything that makes sense in this country.  More profoundly, he said he was absolutely confident that we will reach a tipping point, that you and I will at last have had enough and take back the power of the people that has been usurped by the wealthy one percent.  That, I am hoping, is where we are.  Undoubtedly there is that uninformed segment of this groundswell that will interpret the outcome of this election as validation of their misguided, backward prejudices.  But what I really think, and hope, is that the majority of those who voted for Donald Trump did so out of their own economic self interest, rather than any racial resentment, that it is time to make government understand we are all sick and tired of its dysfunction, and as Mr. Reich projected, the time has come for the ridiculously wealthy elite to recognize their selfish motivation.

Donald Trump has labeled his campaign a “movement.”  which, if you paid attention to what I have just expressed, seems pretty accurate.  What I can’t get my head around is how he became the leader of this movement.  An egomaniacal, racist, tax-dodging, misogynistic con-artist who cheats contractors and employees out of rightful payment,  and lives his pampered, elitist life inside of a palatial penthouse with floor to ceiling  gold decor seems like an unlikely champion of such a cause. Adding to the perplexity is the fact that the largest gains of his proposed tax plan go to, you guessed it, the wealthy 1%.   But he somehow pulled it off, and he certainly deserves to run his victory lap.

Relaxing in the Trump Living Room                                 Relaxing in My Living Room

Here’s the thing though.  The victory was so complete Mr. Trump now has a public mandate and has no excuse to disappoint since he professes to be the supreme deal maker and fixer of all things.  He has his work cut out for him.  The following is a list of the things he said he will accomplish, which judged from the number of times the topic was mentioned by Mr. Trump during the campaign, is arranged in what I believe should be a close order of importance to his most fervent supporters:

1. Build a border wall with Mexico*  2.  Make Mexico pay for that wall.  3. Deport all illegal immigrants*.  4. Dismantle Obamacare and replace it with something better**  5.  Amend or otherwise tidy up the constitution so he can ban foreign nationals who are Muslim.  6. Destroy ISIS***  7. Renegotiate or suspend ratification of all international trade agreements. 8. Dramatically increase military spending  9. Make NATO pay for U.S. assistance.  10.  Dismantle the Iranian nuclear arms deal.  11. Rebuild and improve every aspect of infrastructure.  12. Double the national GDP.  And unlucky #13.  Lock her up.****

*1 and 3 are apparently so extremely important to a small but possibly overly zealous set of Trump backers that  the group has threatened to shoot him if he does not produce results. (See my previous blog Reap What You Sow).

**To be accomplished in Mr. Trump’s first 100 days in office

*** It is not clear how long this will take Mr. Trump.  The time frame is whatever “so fast it will make your head spin” is.

**** Because this was hands down the most often repeated refrain during Trump rallies you might think it should reside in the number one spot, but in considering my personal data for this list  more weight was given to how many times Mr. Trump actually muttered the words.

There are about sixty other items Mr. Trump has promised to take care of in four years. These mere thirteen certainly represent a bold agenda, and there are a couple on this priority list I wouldn’t mind seeing addressed.  Who doesn’t want state-of-the-art infrastructure and a robust GDP.  But half the things just on this abbreviated list will require a lot of money and Mr. Trump has avoided discussion of that sticky subject.  His reverse Robin Hood tax plan is projected to create an even bigger national debt.  His only answer is when he gets things rolling, job growth will be off the charts.  However, those jobs probably will be insignificant because practically every economist consulted believes Trump’s trade policies will trigger an international trade war that will result in a national recession.  And there is the hard reality that many of the jobs Mr. Trump promised to bring back to America simply no longer exist in our 21st century world.  They will never come back.  Ever.

Mr. Trump has already pissed all over the dignity of the presidential office.  It remains to be seen if he and the people he surrounds himself with will exhibit self control and enough common sense to govern intelligently and not shit on the constitution.  Honest to God I am hopeful this man succeeds in being a good president.  To do that,  he will have to start by explaining to those supporters bent on taking his election as validation for racial insults and persecution that they are wrong and it will not be tolerated.  Most people will agree we need immigration reform.  A continuous border wall with Mexico seems impractical.  Deporting 11 million immigrants is inconceivable.  Providing sensible solutions to the problem now that he has made these irrational promises is something Mr. Trump will have to supply or not supply at his own risk.  He has been elected to be our leader.  He needs to lead us forward, not backward to the hatred of the 1950’s.

There is one aspect of going backwards which does merit attention.  It applies to the very thing that got us to this current,  precarious stage in our democratic, capitalistic experiment.  It is the avaricious shifting of income inequality in this country.  Middle class Americans shared in business profits in the 1950’s.   Corporate profits now are used to purchase stock buybacks to impress stockholders instead of investing in employees and paying them a decent wage, and typical current salaries of upper management in today’s corporations are ridiculously overvalued.  In 1955 the average top income tax rate was 63%, and the capital gains tax was 25%.  The tax rate for the highest earners was 91%.  Imagine the good we could accomplish if those in the Donald Trump tax bracket paid their 1955’s fair share.

There are so many thoughts concerning this election that are pouring through my head, but right now all I want to pour is a big glass of scotch.

I know. Here I go again. But just when I think Donald Trump can not possibly top his last ludicrous or offensive  statement he somehow manages to pull it off.  His constant whining about everything being rigged against him and not willing to accept the election’s outcome really takes the biscuit, for personal reasons which I will get to in a moment.  But this commentary by Justice David Souter back in 2012 is so compelling and prophetic I want to include it here in hopes that it’s already viral viewing will reach even more people.  Again, this is a discourse from 2012.

Justice Souter Interview

First of all, if you took the time to read or watch this interview,  thank you and share away.  And if you don’t want to continue reading my sentiments I can not blame you.  Come back later if you have things to do.  I don’t.  I’m retired.  What I do is waste my time blogging.  But as I have mentioned before, this guy Trump just gets under my skin.

The real tragedy of Mr. Trump’s spineless ranting is all the verbal puss he spews infects so many people, detractors as well as his supporters. I vote independently. I can not say I think Hillary Clinton is someone I am enamored with. Like a typical Trump supporter, I am tired of politics as usual, and I too believe there is a certain elitist attitude rightly associated with the Clintons. But Trump’s character problem is beyond the pale. To many, his boisterous demeanor and rude behavior are tolerable or even viewed as salubrious.  To me, he comes across as an asshole. But I could live with that.  There are assholes all over the place, and from what I have observed if a fellow like that applies himself there are positions in government  where he will fit right in.

But Donald Trump is far worse than an asshole.  His shortcomings have been covered so widely it’s pointless to keep bringing them up.  Politically though, he is dangerous, especially evidenced by  his dumbfounding statement during the last debate that there’s a chance he won’t honor the outcome of the election.  His relentless insistence that the system is rigged foments a segment of society in just the way Justice Souter describes.  Trump is molding himself into the perfect Molotov cocktail to toss into the explosive discontent of the disenfranchised. So much of Trump’s vitriol has his campaign “CEO” Stephen Bannon’s imprint all over it. There is that, and his fear of losing bothers him so much that in his egomaniacal mind he somehow is blameless for his pathetic campaign.  It is a shameless display of irresponsibility and lack of leadership.

However, this constant whining of his unnerves me in a personal way. “You fail all the time.  But you’re not a failure unless you start blaming someone else.”  Know who said that?  It was Bum Phillips, weathered professional football coach, and now deceased.  His words do not apply only to football players. They apply to everyone, but I have to admit in my mind maybe more so to men than women. Sorry ladies, I know as a group you are no less important, but I can not stand a man who constantly whines and complains.   Donald Trump is a perfect example of a failure.   Someone so full of cynicism and so devoid of the character development required to accept responsibility is just a shitty person to my way of thinking.

Ordinarily I would call him a prick, but I can’t.  You know why I can’t call him a prick?  That has to do with another  man no longer with us, and who was one of my personal mentors.  That would be my father-in-law, Al Loebig.  He was a life-long Minnesota Vikings fan, and vehemently despised a certain quarterback who played for the Vikings for many years.  Al considered him to be a blowhard and a sissy.  He called him every foul name in the book- except prick.  Al told me the reason for that was as disrespectful as the word is, in his opinion it still conveyed a certain sense of masculinity.  That simply was not acceptable to Al.  I know if Al was alive today he  would be following this very precept when it came to his assured profane description of Donald Trump.

So Donald, every time I hear you incessantly whine about a rigged system, I want you to know I take it personally.  You are an offensive politician, but more disconcerting as far as I am concerned you are an embarrassment to our male gender. Real men take responsibility.  This country has endured several contested elections in the past, one recently so close it took a Supreme Court decision to resolve it.  But that is the point.  We have a democratic system and processes in place to, as fairly as possible, adjudicate outcomes.  All presidential candidates in the past have accepted them.  We don’t need you to go around huffing and puffing, threatening to blow the whole thing down.  Show some balls you big crybaby.

                                                    SOME FAMOUS BLOWHARDS

In closing let me say this.  Over the years I have developed an extensive vocabulary of profanity.            Smart People Swear More  ( Article courtesy of my college Facebook research specialist Emilee Mayer-Thank you Emilee, but shouldn’t you be studying?)    Mr. Trump, every time you mention “rigged system,” automatically one of those words spills out of my mouth.  Ever since the Billy Bush bus incident it appears to me all the late night entertainers have it just about right.  You do seem to be some kind of pussy.  One thing for sure though. You sir, are no kind of prick.

PRESENT LIST OF THINGS THE TRUMP CAMPAIGN HAS BEEN TOLD TO STOP USING OR MENTIONING

SONG/MUSICIANS:  “Dream On” Steve Tyler.  “We Are the Champions” Queen.  “We’re Not Going to Take It” Twisted Sister.  “It’s the End of the World” R.E.M.  “Start Me Up” and “You Can’t Always Get What You Want” Rolling Stones.  “Sky Fall” and” Rolling in the Deep” Adele.  “Nissan Dorma” Pavarotti.  “Rockin’ in the Free World” Neil Young. ” Here Comes the Sun” George Harrison.  Anything by Elton John

MINTS/CANDY:  Skittles– Mars inc.  Tic Tacs– Ferrero Company

FUTURE LIST OF THINGS THE TRUMP CAMPAIGN IS LIKELY TO BE TOLD TO STOP USING OR MENTIONING*

Geraldo Rivera video, Trump Tower steam room and 2nd Billy Bush tapes suddenly surface and reveal more of Donald’s “locker-room” conversation and ribald antics.  After scrutinizing bawdy content about peep holes, unconventional or unauthorized use of various commercial products, and listening to the constant sophomoric giggling that transpired on the audio portion of the tapes,  the following businesses and organizations have requested that the Trump campaign never mention, or immediately discontinue any mention of, their products and/or business or organization:

TOOLS/ IMPLEMENTS: cordless drill and bit set– Stanley Black and Decker,  Makita Inc.,  Porter-Cable Company,  screw-type C-clamp– Clamp Manufacturing Inc.  rope– Rope Manufacturers of America

DESERT TOPPINGS:   chocolate syrup– The Hershey Company.  Reddi Whip–  Conagra Foods Inc.

ANIMAL/VEGETABLE OILS: baby oil–  Johnson & Johnson.  Crisco’s Pure Corn Oil– J.M. Smucker Company.

HOME DECORE:  candles– Yankee Candle Company

CONDIMENTS/FRUIT SPREADS:  jams and jellies– Grama’s Inc.  J. M. Smucker Company.  Sara Lee Coffee and Tea Company.  mustard– H.J.Heintz Company, French’s Food Company.  mayonnaise– Hellman’s Unilever.  Kraft Foods Group Inc.

SPORTING GOODS: Louisville Slugger– Hillerich and Bradsby Company.

MEAT/POULTRY:  hot dogs– Hebrew National hot dog- Conagra Foods.  Ball Park Franks- Tyson Foods. sausage– United Sausage Makers Company,  Johnsonville Sausage LLC,  Tyson Foods,  Conagra Foods,  Hormel Foods Corp.  kielbasa– Kowalski Company.   cocktail weenies- Bryan Foods Company,  Oscar Meyer/Kraft Foods.

PRODUCE:  Anything you can grow in a garden– Vegetable Growers Association of America,  Future Farmers of America,  4-H Youth Development Program.

OTHER ORGANIZATIONS: Steam Fitters and Plumbers Union.  Save the Children Foundation.  American Mother’s Inc.,  American Red Cross,  Girl Scouts of America,  Boy Scouts of America.

AMERICA’S BASKET OF DEPLORABLE’S

Note to all you ladies sporting “Trump Can Grab My Pussy” tees and for that matter to any of you who believe Donald Trump’s predatory  behavior is perfectly acceptable.  No doubt your children and relatives are extremely proud of the affectionate display of your wide-open availability, but I have a qualified** questions for you.  Where in the hell were you when I was in college?

*This list remains subject to amendment and additions

** qualification:  Before that first date we hypothetically would have had, from what I know about you now I assume you would not have minded if I took a gander at your personal health/immunization record.

You remember Mars.  Celestially, it’s taken on water lately.  That’s a figure of speech mostly, but hot shots at NASA say there is now evidence that there is some water flowing around here and there on the Red Planet.  I don’t see how.  It’s minus 80 degrees up there from what I’ve read.  But smart people say Mars is our best shot at developing a human presence in space.  Let’s face it there might be something to that.  We are fucking up this planet so badly somebody has to start thinking outside the box.

The Red Planet

Scientists have long postulated there was once life on Mars.  For one thing, we’ve probed and circled Mars with some amazing technical machinery, enough to know there is nitrogen floating around on Mars.  That is absolutely essential to get life moving along.  And methane!  We found out that’s up there too.  I bet free range cows were roaming about at one time.  But what in the hell happened?  Smart money is on atmospheric degradation, and getting cold-cocked by some mighty big astroids and shit like that.  Sounds logical to me.

So what can we do?  We need a place to go, maybe sooner than you think, and Mars is starting to look pretty darned good. Elon Musk is all set to ship building materials to Mars in 2018, and thinks he will be set to send the initial colony of 100 people up there in 2021.  This is a really smart guy with lots of money, and I certainly wouldn’t want to tell him he’s full of shit..

But somehow things have gone to hell in a hand basket up there, so we need to send  a guy along with the stamina and balls to straighten things out.  There is no doubt in my mind that Donald Trump would be just the kind of man that can get the job done.  If things don’t pan out with the election down here, I know he would provide the type of leadership we need to govern a colony on Mars and establish normal relationships, like with important stuff such as the atmosphere and ambient temperature.  We know he can fix almost anything.  And think of it.  The first President of Mars!  I think he would go for that.

D. Trump has taken a lot of shit for not being exactly what you call ‘qualified’ for the job down here.  But Mars!  It’s like God planted him here for the specific purpose of overseeing this interplanetary mission.  He’s the Mars Messiah.  Look at his leadership qualities. For one thing, he’s a builder.  You’ve seen all the tall buildings with his name on it. Well actually a lot of those buildings don’t belong to Mr. Trump.  Outside of some environmentally raping golf courses, he’s kind of given up on building stuff.  That’s because a few years back he built a couple of plush casinos and somehow in the time it takes for the earth to complete one rotation around the sun he managed to flush the entire business down a gigantic, insolvent shit-hole.  After that astronomical billion dollar hit and four or five other bankruptcies later, he decided the best thing for him to do was not to worry about stiffing his lenders, stockholders and the tax-paying public and use the U.S. tax code to bail him out. A BILLION dollars.  That amounted to 2% of capital losses for the entire nation the tax year he claimed it. Talk about HUGE!

I know what you’re thinking.  How can a man with such a pathetically poor business record be capable of turning things around on Mars?  Easy.  I know it is almost impossible to believe, but Donald Trump, inspite of displaying the business acumen of a circus monkey,  was somehow able to convince several gullible businessmen that his name was synonymous with sound judgment and ethical conduct. The ironic beauty of this should be slamming into your brain like a laser controlled bottle rocket.  He actually gets these people to pay him to use his NAME.  No investment worries for him-  just pay him a princely sum and you can slap his name on your product.  You have to admit this level of chicanery is worthy of galactic recognition.

The reason this is so important is his pool of people on earth who actually believe this makes any sense is becoming extremely shallow.  He needs to expand his base.  If he can accomplish all this slight of hand on our planet, imagine the possibilities on Mars where no one knows him yet. And believe me there are martians there.  We just have never been able to spot them with our surveillance equipment because they have to wear all those heavy parka’s and they naturally blend in with the landscape.  Can you think of anyone better at negotiating with them than Donald Trump?   I’m no martian expert, but I think being all orangey would have advantages.  It might seem to be out of place on earth, but somehow I think that might serve him well on the Red Planet.  Just a hunch.  He is so good at making deals I bet he could organize all the martians into a strong labor force and get infrastructure off to a flying start.  And the best part is he won’t even have to pay them, something he already has a real knack for.  There won’t be any common currency on Mars.  Naturally he will be in charge of developing it, and just thinking about that has to give him a boner, but he can simply tell the martians the minting equipment hasn’t been delivered yet.

The Orange President

Of course initially communication could be a problem.  We all know how Mr. Trump is often times misinterpreted.  That’s why I think it would be extremely wise to have him take Rudy Giuliani along with him. If there is one guy that can speak Trump fluently It is Rudy. I for one found him to be immensely helpful clarifying those confusing statements of Mr. Trump’s. I have a feeling Rudy will find it even easier to understand Martian.  It will be important to start off on the right foot with those martians.  Word’s matter.

And, by the way, so will breast size.  Since he will be president, no doubt his first executive order will to demand that any women who ride along with him as “special surrogates” on that first space ship meet his specific requirements.  32-A’s and any female topping 120 pounds need not apply.  This is a colony for Pete’s sake, and Mr. Trump knows what it takes to make sure there’s plenty of colonization going on.

Might be Going to Mars

So I’d like to start up a solicitation campaign for the election of Donald Trump as our first President of Mars.  I will tell you right now I am contributing $100.00 today.  Make that $1000.00.  The hell with it, make that everything in my savings and retirement portfolio.  Sorry kids, I know you were counting on something when I die, but this is way too important.  Let’s MAKE MARS GREAT AGAIN!

http://www.npr.org/2016/07/28/487751344/trump-says-he-was-being-sarcastic-in-asking-russia-to-hack-clintons-emails  Whew!  Finally an explanation for all the crazy shit Donald Trump says.  If you’re like most Americans, you are often puzzled by what spills forth from Mr. Trump’s mouth.  Even his die hard supporters get taken aback occasionally.  Well the cat’s out of the bag now.  That remark he made about the hacked DNC computer- when he implored the Russians to go fetch Hillary Clinton’s e-mails- It was just him being all clever and such. Nothing but a ruse, a harmless sarcastic comment.  It was a joke for god’s sake.  And you thought he was being all astonishingly harebrained and suspiciously treasonous.  Geezuz what’s wrong with you.

Of course the media got their underwear in a bunch over this, like usual.  You guys have got to get your shit together!  He’s just jerking your chain.  And mine.  And yours and yours.  Lots of chains.  Huge chains.  All this time you thought his remarks were crazy rantings.   If this man fails at his presidential run, he really should consider a career as a stand up comic.  Maybe go on an international tour. Here is just a small sample of the hilarious shit he has come up with, stuff you probably weren’t smart enough to realize how funny it is.*

“The Donald” Seen Here Cutting Up In an After Hours Lounge

“Black guys counting my money.  I hate it!  The only people I want counting my money are little short guys that wear yarmulkes every day.”  WOW!  Move over Henny Youngman!

“It’s freezing and snowing in New York.  We need global warming.”  Are you kidding me?  What a hoot!

“I rented him a piece of land,” he told Fox News about his relationship with Muammar Qaddafi. “He paid me more for one night than the land was worth for two years, and then I didn’t let him use the land. That’s what we should be doing. I don’t want to use the word ‘screwed’, but I screwed him.”  Is this funny or what?  He’s always doing this to people.  What a wacky prankster.  Take that, Muammar!

“Sorry losers and haters, but my I.Q. is one of the highest—and you all know it! Please don’t feel so stupid or insecure. It’s not your fault.”  Not bad for someone who won’t release his college transcripts.  Just like his tax returns, there’s bound to be some real knee slappers buried deep inside those documents somewhere.

“When Mexico sends its people, they’re not sending their best. They’re not sending you. They’re sending people that have lots of problems, and they’re bringing those problems with us. They’re bringing drugs. They’re bringing crime. They’re rapists. And some, I assume, are good people.”  You might say this is his signature schtick.  Can this guy deliver a punch line or what!  This would really knock  ’em dead in a Tijuana nightclub.

“An ‘extremely credible source’ has called my office and told me that Barack Obama’s birth certificate is a fraud.”  Donald’s favorite line for quite some time, but for some reason he doesn’t use it anymore.  That’s probably because he thinks President Obama has no sense of humor and doesn’t want to hurt his feelings anymore.

“You know, it really doesn’t matter what the media write as long as you’ve got a young, and beautiful, piece of ass.”  No doubt this would play huge with the Boko Haram crowd.

“All of the women on The Apprentice flirted with me – consciously or unconsciously. That’s to be expected.” More than likely most of the women involved here really got a kick out of Donald’s wise cracking about them, and, more than likely, since Donald is a big fan of Bill Crosby’s comedy, they felt it was best to always stay on the alert to remain conscious.

Holy crap on a cracker where does this guy get his material? He wrote a book, “Art of the Deal.” I bet there’s some zingers in that thing. Oh, sorry. That book was written by a ghost writer, Tony Schwartz.. But still. Just read what Tony has to say about Donald. http://www.cnbc.com/2016/07/18/donald-trumps-ghostwriter-says-he-regrets-art-of-the-deal.html

Well, OK.  It’s obvious Tony is another guy with no sense of humor.  Some people are simply like that.  But Donald can’t just pull this shit out of his ass.  He must read a lot of books.  For sure that’s where he gets such clever ideas.  Just take a look at what the Washington Post says about Donald’s perusal interests:

NEW YORK — As he has prepared to be named the Republican nominee for president, Donald Trump has not read any biographies of presidents. He said he would like to someday.

He has no time to read, he said: “I never have. I’m always busy doing a lot. Now I’m more busy, I guess, than ever before.”

Trump’s desk is piled high with magazines, nearly all of them with himself on their covers, and each morning, he reviews a pile of printouts of news articles about himself that his secretary delivers to his desk. But there are no shelves of books in his office, no computer on his desk.  Quote from Washington Post

Well, shit.  So he’s not a big book person. So what!  I bet lots of comedians don’t read much.

*These quotes and others are here for YOUR further reading:  http://www.marieclaire.co.uk/blogs/550112/donald-trump-quotes.html