This afternoon the Palm Beach police department’s SWAT unit stormed President Trump’s Mar-a-Lago Resort in response to reports that a large group of people were being held hostage there.  Upon arrival, the police were informed there were about three dozen residents barricaded in one of the hotel’s dinning rooms.  When there was no response to law enforcement inquiries from anyone in that room, the door was breached with a battering ram.  Fortunately everyone inside was found to be unharmed.

According to the police, the situation developed after a resident spotted someone who resembled an “hispanic-looking person” exiting President Trump’s suite.  Word quickly spread that there were MS 13 gang members marauding through the building and soon an hysterical mob of panic stricken residents formed and for self protection they locked themselves in the dining hall.

Curious as to why everyone in the room was  clutching a kitchen utensil of some sort,  the police were informed that, rather than submit to the impending  torture and dismemberment at the hands of Guatemalan gang members, the group had planned a mass suicide.  “I think we got here just in the nick of time,” concluded SWAT team leader, captain Reggie Ringwald.

The person who initiated the panic was quickly apprehended.  Her name is Margarita Sanchez-Fuentes, President’ Trump’s housekeeper and an illegal immigrant.  She will be held for deportation, along with three other undocumented Trump employees discovered on the premises.  Many of the distraught residents seemed confused and voiced concern that the president of all people would hire illegals.  But all were exceedingly thankful no one in the Trump family had been savagely slaughtered.

  Former Trump Housekeeper and Undocumented Immigrant Margarita Sanchez-Fuentes (pictured) Could Serve a Six Month Jail Sentence for “Terroristic Threats  Against the  Emotionally Fragile”  Before Her Deportation

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