President Trump recently procured a stockpile of bean products that he says will be a gamechanger in the ongoing fight against the out of control corona virus that is ravaging the nation.  The president stated it was Peter Navarro who first introduced him to the miraculous anti-viral benefits of the special beans.  “Peter’s a smart guy.  You know Peter. He keeps up with all the science stuff for me and does a great job,” the president affirmed.  The president would not reveal how many containers of bean products he has, but it has emerged he has ordered the removal of the thousands of doses of hydroxychloroquine he previously stockpiled in an undisclosed warehouse in order to make room for his beans.

Trump says he will relabel and trademark all his beans under the name “Trump Magic Beans.” The president said he will be offering his beans to the general public at a discounted price.  “I got a hell of a deal on my beans,” the president proudly pointed out.  “No one else could have made the deal I made.  Actually everyone around here is saying it’s the best deal I have ever made. After everyone gets onboard with Trump Magic Beans, you can bet the China virus will just disappear.”

Trump pointed out he will have nothing to do with the product’s profits.  In order to avoid conflict of interest and emollient clause violations, all sales and marketing will be conducted through the Trump Organization.  “It’s a terrific product, perfectly safe'” Trump insisted.  “I just started my second week of therapy.  Everyone should try it.  What have you got to loose?” the president queried.

Interestingly, several WH staff members said they had the uncomfortable answer to that question.  Since the president insisted everyone who holds a paid position in the White House take a full course of Trump Magic Beans, staffers are finding it impossible to locate available  restroom accomodations.  “The suggested doseage is a can a day for at least two weeks and up to however long the president prescribes. The restroom lines are 3 to 4 deep all day long around here,” said one distressed staffer as he quick-stepped down the hallway.

Ivanka Trump practicing for a marketing photo shoot for Trump Magic Beans