It has emerged that President Trump has initiated a unique component to his sweeping immigrant removal policy.  Presidential advisor Steven Miller called it the “White 4 Brown Initiative,” and explained it this way.  “The administration is succesfully removing the free loading, crime infested riff raff from our country, and as part of the administration’s death to DEI policy, the president feels we now have room to accept the kind of people he knows will be assets to our great nation.”

Miller went on to promote the anchoring feature of the initiative, the president’s new Gold Card, a very special sort of Green Card that for all intents and purposes automatically bestows citizenship to anyone willing to pay the 5 million dollar entry fee.  When queried about discrimination and token vetting conflicts which might allow a shifty Russian oligarch to take up residence, Miller replied that anyone with 5 million dollars in liquid assets is obviously someone of good character and more importantly, white.  “The president knows people and he knows people with lots of money are the best kind of people.  That’s why he packed his cabinet with billionaires and lets the richest man in the world  make his decisions for him.  It’s what great leaders do.”

                   

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A more controversial aspect of the White 4 Brown policy emerged with the arrival of Andrew and Tristan Tate on Florida’s shores.  Safe in the Arms of Trump’s America

When asked about the logic behind replacing deported immigrant rapists and sex traffickers with white rapists and sex traffickers, Miller responded by reminding everyone that the judicial system is always out to get white people, and therefore the Tate brothers are likely victims of a witch hunt.   “It is a priority of the president to make sure the weaponization of the judiciary that so blatantly persecuted him will only persecute proper people in the future,” Miller stated.

                    

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In a related story, convicted then commuted seditionist Enrique Tarrio says he is seriously considering his candidacy for a Florida seat in the House of Representatives.  Asked for a comment, President Trump said he  wished him good luck and he couldn’t be prouder of that Proud Boy.